So, I am out to my core group of friends, and have been since Dec. They all have been supportive and accepting, though there have been some bumps in the road as I think sometimes they either totally forget I'm gay or they don't know how to address certain (LGBT) subjects in a sensitive manner. But, nothing too bad, and I think largely because *I* still am pretty quiet on the subject. I have a couple of other friends who are often hanging around the group. I have not come out to either of them, though one may already know because some things have been joked about in front of him. It was my thought process at first that I'd just "hint" at things and let them figure it out but I'm starting to realize that I'm not comfortable doing that even though I would like to be. I freeze up if they are in the room and feel I shouldn't make "gay" comments because they don't know yet. So, it may be better just to come out and say it. Still, though, it feels awkward to make this pronouncement about my sexuality because while we're more than just acquaintances we're not super close and for me being gay is still a rather sensitive and emotional topic. I don't want to get all sappy on them as it feels it'd be inappropriate. How did some of you come out to people in your life like this? Did you have a sit down talk with them? Did you send them a message? Or did you just hint around and let them figure it out for themselves? I feel like the ideal scenario for me would be to be able to tell them if the subject comes up, but I just haven't really been in that position thus far, and I also worry I may once again freeze up in that sort of situation.
I generally let them know if the topic came up. Eg. "So have you met any hot chicks lately?" And I'd just say no, not really into girls. Although most of my outer core friends learned from my closer friends. I just told them at a certain point I didn't care who knew. It was actually kinda funny when one of my friends started asking if I had a boyfriend yet and the other friend just seemed so lost and it took them a few minutes to understand what we were discussing. In fairness I'm fairly secure with myself luckily, and in a place where nobody really cares... if they do they are shunned. So just do what feels right for you. If you think you will be safe being totally open do it! If not that's fine too.
Thanks, Manitoban. It's a little complicated right now because I don't care who knows of my friends and acquaintances, but I don't want it to get back to family just yet. I want to just be out and open but I am not ready to deal with family as it likely won't go so great. I guess I can try to insert it into conversation if it comes up, like you suggest, when it comes to my friends. I'm pretty sure they will be fine with it, most people here are very liberal and open minded.
I've always wanted to just bring up my sexuality in a casual conversation so that people will know and so that I get more comfortable with myself. My fear, though, is that the other person won't know how to react/what to say. I'm still considerably young (19) and although most of my friends are a bit older, they don't have the much exposure to LGBT culture and so this information may seem a bit taboo. Any suggestions on how to ease the awkwardness when casually mentioning that I'm a lesbian in a conversation? Also, just to add, my friends know I'm bisexual however they still only ever ask about boys and will say things like "your future husband" etc. This is why I fear that the LGBT topic makes them uncomfortable.
Hey Emily, I've not done this myself yet so I'm not totally sure. The friends I've come out to I've come out in serious talks or messages. But maybe if you try to keep it light hearted it'll make it less awkward. Are you bi, or are you a lesbian? If you're bi next time someone says your "future husband" you could just add "or future wife" with a smile. If you're gay, maybe "that's not my cup of tea" or "I don't swing that way."? If you are casual and jokey about it it will make them feel more at ease, too, probably.
