Recently my parents sat me down and told me they knew I was gay and that basically they didn't approve. My dad read my diary and I talked about my super personal feelings I had towards this girl and about how I was considering coming out to some of my friends but i was still super scared. My dad told my mom about it and they were crying and asking me if I was just confused or if it was a phase and all that. I'm scared to write in my diary and I sometimes feel like I have no one to talk to. And they make me feel like I'm an embarrassment or theres something wrong with me. Does anyone have any advice or have been in this situation before?
I'm sorry that happened to you strangecat! That's really horrible. Maybe if it's possible, keep your diary on you? You have us to talk to now, there's always someone here. And there's nothing wrong with you!
If anything it seems to me the ones at fault are your parents for reading what was your own private diary.
Are they open for a conversation? If yes, tell them it isn't a phase, and neither a choice. Tell them you didn't change, and you are fine and perfectly normal. If they have questions, answer honestly. If they aren't open for a conversation, let them have some time to think about it. You can check the resources page, there is something about the stages of acceptance for patents there (can't link it right now, I'm not in my PC). Also, tell them you deserve some privacy, and it wasn't right to read your diary without permission.
Your parents do not understand that this is not something you chose, but something you are. Get them some PFLAG materials and try to educate them. If they still don't believe it after it has been explained to them, then they are stupid, not ignorant; stupid can't be fixed, so you will just have to deal with it until you are old enough to leave their home. If you need to talk to someone, do it here. If you need to write things down, do it on your computer and encrypt and password the files. If they aren't smart enough to understand what gay is, they won't have much luck cracking 256-bit data encryption.
1) tell them its not a phase 2) tell them its not okay to look in ur diary and that you dont trust them 3) flip them off and then walk the other way.
Your parents should not have read your diary. Everyone should be able to express their feelings without having others prying eyes on it. Writing things down is a really good way to deal with a lot of things, so please don't stop keeping a diary. If you google how to keep an encrypted file or folder on your computer, it's all there. That's what I do, it's just a microsoft word document. The way mine is set up is that you have to enter a password to open the folder. They already know how you feel, but if you don't want them to track your history on this site, if you have google chrome (its free to download) you can delete the history from the site and only visit the site using an incognito window (File >New Incognito Window) which does not put the sites you visited in that window in the browser history. Hope this all makes sense and hope that your parents come around. Keep posting, we are all here for you.
I am so sorry you had to go through that Stragngecat. No one should have to be forced out of the closet before they are ready, and on top of that reading your journal was a complete invasion of privacy. I strongly believe you should continue to write down your feelings because self reflection is really important throughout your coming out process. The above suggestions of encrypted files or password protected documents are exactly what I was going to suggest (since it's something I do myself!) You mentioned you were thinking of coming out to some of your friends? I think if you're ready and comfortable to tell someone else who you think will be supportive of you, that would be a really good idea. Everyone should have someone who is in their corner when they first come out. But the good news is that even if you aren't ready to tell someone else, there are so many incredibly supportive and understanding individuals on this website. We are all here for you to listen, and talk through whatever you need. Stay strong ride:
That's a dreadful thing to have happened. Shame on your parents for invading your privacy! In the future, you might want to use a Word file that's password protected instead of a written diary. Diary's are far too easy for anyone to just up and read at their leisure. I would highly recommend having your parents watch the film Prayers for Bobby if they really don't understand that you are who you are, and you being gay is very unlikely to change. You also might want to let them know that you're not a murderer, you're not a thief, you're not out to harm anyone. You have an innate attraction to people of the same sex, but that doesn't make you bad, or broken, or anything else. You can live a fulfilling life being gay and contribute to the world in a positive manner. Your parents are likely just to be in shock and could be ignorant about what being gay entails. For most straight people, LGBT issues just aren't on their radar.
Why the hell are your parents doing reading your diary?! A very disgusting invasion of privacy! Shame on them!
ouch, your not an embarrassment sweetie. im a dad, and i would never read my sons personal writings. im not sure how old you are, but do the best you can till your able to be on your own and be yourself, on the other hand would they be able listen and learn that LGBT isn't some big boogy man and we are just like everyone else?
I'm so sorry! Shame on them! I would tell them that you are very disappointed in them that they disrespected your privacy by reading your diary. And say to them, that you are sorry that they are having a hard time understanding how you feel but they are the one's that created you and made you this way, and that you can't help the way that you were born. I would also say to them, that they should be proud of you for being able to accept yourself and that you shouldn't have to hide who your authentically are from the world or from them. This is your life, not theirs and they need to respect you and your self-identity.
