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Coming out as bisexual (or escaping the heteronormative world)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by colorblind, Mar 26, 2015.

  1. colorblind

    Regular Member

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    Hello out there.

    I am a 21 year old girl and I am pretty sure I am not straight but nor am I gay. Then I guess you' call me bisexual, fluid or whatever.
    But I go by in a the world as heterosexual. I am feminine, I talk to my friends about guys and all that but my attraction and falling in love with girls have I never talked to anyone about. Also, I have no experience with girls and I want to experiment before telling anyone.

    But should you come out as bisexual or should you just see what happens? If I met a guy today and we were in a relationship, I'd probably (if it was serious) introduce him to my friends and family. Or if I had a crush on a guy or a broken heart over a guy, I could talk to people about it. But with a girl I would not do that. It would be a huge step and change my whole identity in the eyes of other people. I would have to explain myself all the time.

    So bisexuals out there, fluids or non-heterosexuals, what did you do or do you do?

    Lots of love
     
  2. ApexxShadow

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    If you're curious about a relationship with the same sex, you could say you're Bi-curious. Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable about it. You could tell your family you want to experiment, or keep it to yourself. If you feel like your family should know, go ahead and tell them. If you're not comfortable telling them, then wait until you are.

    Best wishes xx :slight_smile:
     
  3. Hey there. I completely understand what you're currently going through.
    I'm no 'gold star' lesbian. I've had two serious boyfriends, and have been attracted to guys in the past. Then, one night, it just hit me like a wave. I realized something about myself that my subconscious had been hinting at for years. While I'm not bi, I'd say that we are in a similar situation. It's a lot to take it, and it absolutely changes your life. If you are a bit uneasy about 'coming out' yet, then maybe experiment a little first? Date a girl and see how it goes. If the experience reassures you, then maybe take more steps towards coming out. If the experience makes you less certain, maybe try again before you make a final decision. Either way, this is a great community when it comes to giving advice, and I'm sure that things will work out for you in the end.
     
  4. colorblind

    Regular Member

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    Thanks for the answer. I don't know about Bi-curious label. It just sounds so shallow to me. I have been deeply in love with women in my life, more so than men I think, but of course they never knew and nothing happened.
     
  5. Monraffe

    Regular Member

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    Out to everyone
    I have had long term relationships with boys and girls and I identified myself as gay when I was with a same sex partner and straight when I was with an opposite sex partner. And neither when I was single. In other words, I would let the relationship define me. I'm not exactly sure what bi means. Which I guess makes me truly bi. :wink: