So my friend, let's just call her Friend #1, made a post on tumblr about her, me, and Friends #2 and #3. She mentioned a lesbian that's very obviously supposed to be me. I'm not sure how many people have seen this but I know for a fact that Friends #2 and #3 have seen this as well as another friend who I happen to have a crush on. Friend #1 is the only person that I've told about my orientation. She was overwhelmingly positive and even came out to me as bi afterwards. I don't think she meant to out me on purpose but it still hurts. I thought it was important to tell her how this all made me feel so I've prepared a text to send her. What do you all think about it? Hey Friend #1. I just wanted to talk about a post you made on tumblr the other day. It's this one: (Insert pic of post here.) I know you probably didn't mean to but you sort of outed me. Just about anyone who knows us and our group of friends can see that post and know exactly who you're talking about. Especially Friend #2 and Friend #3. They know for sure now. It was likely unintentional but I'm really hurt by this. When I saw that post my heart sank and I was instantly terrified. I had a panic attack I was so scared. I'm just not ready to come out yet. I know you've dove head first into this whole coming out thing, but I haven't. I don't know if I ever will. You're still the only one I've told. I'm so unconfident and afraid of being judged and this has made my fears even worse. Even if I was ready to come out, it's not right of you to out me. Coming out is a really special accomplishment and if people find out I'm gay then I want the satisfaction of being the one to tell them. Coming out myself also gives me a chance to gauge everybody's reaction. I feel like you've stolen that experience from me and that really hurts. I would appreciate it if you would consider deleting that post and avoided talking about my orientation to anyone. Coming out is a personal choice that I myself need to make so please don't force me out of the closet if I'm not ready. Thank you very much too anyone who takes the time to read and respond.
I think it's a good text.It explains what you're feeling without "attacking" your friend. Hope it works:icon_wink
You are so eloquent; I would just go with what you posted here. It clearly states what you feel and need to have happen to set things right.
Thanks everybody! I'm going to send it to her. Hopefully I can set things right with her, but I'm really not looking forward to the damage control I'll have to do at school on Monday.
Hi PunkRockKitten, I saw your previous message and the text, your text message pretty much said it all in a diplomatic way and it was very well put. In terms of the 'damage control', if a family member or friend asks about it, you can say "As much as a care and love or like you, I don't want to speak about it and I feel I am too young to understand and cope with this type of situation, I want to concentrate on what is important, then who knows what my future will be." Hopefully, if they love and care for you, they will understand and back off. I have to say, for a person who is fifteen years old, you are doing really well and going the right way about it. If a person you don't know asks you about it, you can say "I don't want to talk about it, it's my personal business." Then leave it at that...When my mum asked me if I was gay I said "I'm going to say yes, but I'm going to say no." So, whenever you feel ready, you are doing the right thing and you are only fifteen, so you've got the right rest of your life to think about this and you are dealing it in the right way of not rushing it, I'm not supress it or lie about it, but if you are struggling, you can find a local LGBT Youth group or a Gay Straight Alliance, they will give you more practicial advice and I'm sure there are other websites and stuff you can go to, hope this helps?
I had a close friend out me as well. I had only told three people, and I made it unbelievably clear that this info was not for sharing. Two days later, she'd already shared it with an ex-friend of mine, whom shared it with her psycho boyfriend, which ultimately outed me. I know how you feel, and people who do those things don't quite understand just how much it's going to affect you.
