Hi everyone, I'm new here. I decided to join to help get some support and real answers that I can't seem to find online elsewhere. First let me say I live in a very accepting community. PrideRVA has lots of LGBT events in my area, and "gay marriage" was recently legalized this year in my Commonwealth. That being said I'm proud to live in such an open minded community! Anyway, I am a 23 year old female, who is a full time student. I have a boyfriend of 2 and a half years, who I love very much. Since I was in fourth grade I have had a sexual, emotional, and physical attraction to both men and women. I have experimented with both men and women and have pursued relationships with both sexes. Although the girls I've tried to really pursue when I was 16 always ended up running away with guys. I came out to a few friends when I was 15 or 16 and they were accepting but never really talked about it. So I just didn't make a big deal of it, in plus those friendships are gone because we all grew up and went our separate ways. Anyways, for ten years I have felt so conflicted, and I always thought that the feelings of wanting or desiring to be with someone of the same sex, or physical and sexual attraction would go away when I met the right man. Well, I have met the right man. However, there is a part of me that feels unfulfilled. I told my boyfriend how I felt and that I am bisexual, and his response was extremely positive. He said, I love you and I accept you. This means the world to me and I am so happy that I am able to realize this and share my feelings with him. However that being said, I feel conflicted about sharing this with my family. My parents and sisters and stepbrother wouldn't care at all. They are so accepting and love me no matter what. But I keep thinking is there any point of telling my parents that I don't live with, that I am bisexual. Especially when I am with a man that I have told them I want to marry? I don't want to hide who I am and by telling them I am bisexual will allow me to identify with that part of my sexuality more and be more accepting of myself, rather than being so self-concious. And what about my boyfriends family? They are so accepting too, but I don't know if they will think, "why are you telling me this, you're with my son, it doesn't matter" - and I think thats how I feel my parents will react. So I ask you this, is there any point of coming out as bisexual to your accepting parents as a young adult, when you are in a what appears to be a "straight" relationship? Thanks!
That's really up to you. It depends if you think them knowing you're bi will enhance & better your relationship. If you think this will only confuse & strain the relationship it might be better to say nothing. Coming out can (and often does) enhance relationships & let's you be the real you, but it's not always for the better.
Thanks for the response! I don't think it will effect anything negatively or positively. They probably won't even blink at it, haha. I think my biggest concern is they will no give me any response, whether it may be positive or negative.
If you do tell them, I would maybe say why you're choosing to tell them, to alleviate confusion. If it feels less out of the blue and they have some context as to why this is the time you're choosing to share with them, it might be easier.
Thank you so much, I went ahead and sent my whole family an email, (since this is how we normally communicate "family matters that concern everyone"), and explained why I was sharing it with them. Great advice. And they all accepted it and very supportive and said that they loved me no matter what.
