So, a few weeks ago I wasn't sure if I was bisexual, but I know for sure that I am now. I told one of my best friends and we haven't really talked about it much since, but that doesn't bother me because she's totally accepting. What bothers me is coming out to everyone else: my parents, my little brother, the rest ofmy friends. I just have a few questions, like will my friends be appalled? They're all girls, and I just have this fear that they'll be afraid to be around me because they'll think I'm attracted to them? I don't know. Also, I was talking with my parents about something and my mom said "oh so she's not dating that other girl anymore" (talking about a friend of mine), and my dad was confused right away and then said "I just have a problem with kids that young and stuff like that" (implying about her being a fifteen year old bisexual girl). Now I'm terrified to come out to him because I'm fourteen (almost fifteen) and I don't want him telling me that I'm too young because I know the way I feel. My mom is a therapist and works with a lot of LGBT people, so I know she won't be too judgmental, but I'm more worried about my dad now. Also, after that conversation, I've been second guessing whether he might be right or not. I don't know, am I too young?
When I was your age, I felt the same way. Will my parents take me seriously? Will they think because I am young I don't know enough about myself. Well the answer is yes, because guess what you are still learning about yourself, BUT you will continue to do so until the day you die. And since your mom is a therapist I think she would totally understand that. That being said I have basically known that I was bisexual since I was in elementary school, and I thought those thoughts would change. However they never did. And now at the age of 23 I can accept that I am bisexual. So no you're never to young to think that you may be gay or bisexual or purple green blue yellow etc. It's all about what you feel now and that can change tomorrow. You aren't set to one label your entire life. Simply tell your mom that I know you are a therapist and I want to tell you that at this point in my life I have a strong suspicion, or feeling for members of the same and opposite sex, and that I am bisexual. I know you may think that will change in the future or you may think that this is a phase of my life, but this is who I am right now and I hope you can respect that.
Are 14 year olds too young to be straight/interested in boys? If not, then nobody is too young to be any other sexuality. Plus, I don't get how other sexualities are more 'mature'. Women can't get you pregnant or pass serious STD's (as high as men can), so isn't heterosexuality far more 'mature' and something you need to be an adult for?
You're most definitely not too young to know your sexual identity. There's many cases of children as young as 10 being fully aware and confident that they are 100% only interested in same-sex individuals. I realized I was attracted to boys as well around 11 or 12, and I came out a bit after 16. There's no age limit to understanding who you're capable of loving or what you like. If your friends truly care for you and understanding, then their opinions won't change. I had similar concerns coming out to my male friends when I did, worried that they'd be weirded out or look at me different, perhaps not even want to hangout with me because they'd be concerned I was 'checking them out' or something. To my surprise, they were all right there for me to back me 100%, and nothing became awkward or changed for a second. We've all bonded so much more from the experience! True friends don't care what genitals you like, they like you for you! If they abandoned you for simply being honest with them, then they aren't worth being around anyways. There's 8,000,000,000 people on this planet, and so many are willing to accept others for who they are. It's not wise to waste precious seconds on those who don't! (And I know high school friends seem important when you're in the moment, but I can promise you you most likely won't speak to most of the people you do now once you leave. All a part of growing up! As far as your father, I feel it would be different with you as you are his own flesh and blood. If you were to come out to him and he was still on edge about it, over time I'm sure he'd realize it isn't a simple phase and it's something very fundamental to the person you are, and he will grow to respect and accept it. Fathers tend to always be stiffs, but at the end of the day, we're always there babies! I felt just as anxious as you before coming out, but now that I am, I look back and laugh at how concerned I was, and I never look back on my decision. I'm finally happy, and I promise you can be too if you're willing to take the leap of faith and trust in your loved ones! If you ever need anything at all, my wall is always open! I'm always more than happy to help anyone who may need it. I love to give advice I hope I helped at least a little bit. Goodluck with everything hunny, I sincerely hope it all works out for you!
I knew I wasn't straight from a very young age. Definitely knew by 11. I don't know if anyone would have taken me seriously if I'd told them though, cos people do have this idea that you a) don't know your own mind till you're an 'adult', and b) can't know your (non-heterosexual) sexuality until you've been sexually active. The main thing is how you feel, regardless of whether people believe you at first. Good thing to say to people (and I got this from a film I can't remember the name of) if they ask 'How do you know you're gay?' is just to ask 'How did you know you were straight? And anyway... even if your sexuality were to change over time that doesn't mean what you experience at any given stage of your life is any less valid or 'true'.
I'm 16 and I'm still worried that I'm too young to know I'm bisexual. I've known since I was around 12 or 13, that was when I started noticing girls in that way, and I've also liked boys since I was very young. I started thinking seriously about my sexuality last June, and I came to the conclusion that 'I like boys and I like girls', and then I remembered seeing the term 'bisexual' around, and had a bit of a look and that's what I identify as. I have the same fear as you in terms of 'will my friends think I'm attracted to them because I'm bisexual?' I think if you casually slip in little things about the LGBT community and see how they react, that could work. If they react positively then they may be safe to come out to, but if they react more negatively then try to find someone who will support you. But my advice could be totally crap, so if it doesn't work out, I'm sorry
There's definitely no "right" age as to when you should know your sexual orientation. The only thing that matters is when you've accepted that part of you. Some realize it sooner, some later in life. It varies from individual to individual. I, myself have realized that something's different about me when I was still 11, I didn't worry about it though but I just kept it to myself until I was in my early 20s...
I'm 14 - and I'm fairly confident in my sexuality. Being out to yourself is the main thing. I noticed I've liked girls since I was really young, and attracted to boys too since around 10/11 y/o. I'm not out to family but two friends and they accept my sexuality (one friend is also bi, and we're pretty close). My rule is that if you think know what you're interested in - you know what you're interested in.
I never thought I was even interested in men up until several months ago, I'm 17 nearly 18. I'm not even sure if I'm bi, homoflexible or gay, I myself had experimented with men a bit in the past though. I think I may have been repressing my feelings for men to be completely honest
There's no such thing as too young to be Bisexual, in the same way that you can't be 'too young to be straight'. So, I wouldn't worry about it. However, there is such a thing as too young to tell your parents. Many parents are of the opinion that you can't be sure that you're not straight until you're at least 16, maybe even 18. While we know this is not true, it means you may be better off waiting a few years to tell them. If you think they will be okay with it, though, it shouldn't be a problem. Either way, it's your choice Hope everything goes well *hugs*
I knew I was gay for sure when I was 12. Looking back I started having major crushes when I was 8. There is no age that is too young to be gay... just like there is no age too young to be straight. If a 7 year old girl said she likes a boy in her class, nobody would ever say 'How does she know she is straight??' but suddenly when someone says they're gay, they aren't believed unless they are 20+ and have tried sex with the opposite sex and didn't like it. Fuck homophobia.
Exactly. Plus, even then sometimes you get told "that just wasn't the right man for you" OR people shame you and say you're not a real lesbian because you've been with the opposite sex. You really can't win, and people just use these statements to force you into heterosexuality no matter what.
Um, there are no age requirements or restrictions on bisexuality. If you're old enough to feel attracted to anyone, you're old enough to be bisexual.
It's never too early to know your orientation or gender identity, just using that as a general statement. About your father, perhaps you should chat with your mum first about it, you'll know when it's the right time, sometimes you just gotta jump out of your comfort zone for a bit. Remember, there is no time limit for you to go about this either. Take as much of or as little time as you are okay with.
Wow! Our stories are similiar.. Few months ago I started to questioning my sexuality and then find out that I'm in the middle of pansexuality and bisexuality. Then I came out to my very best friend but I'm wondering how do I come out to my family and other friends. And well, I'm fourteen too. I would just say that it's never too early to know your sexual orientation. Just be your wonderfull self! (and sorry, I'm not from English speaking country (still atm in England and learning more) so my English is not the best)
I hear this advice all the time and I would just like to say I have never been able to "casually" slip in something about the LGBT community into a conversation. Maybe it's just my group of friends, but we don't really talk about anything that would make a comment like that relevant. :c *Also I am 14 years old and I know I am a lesbian. I have come out to my dad but he still asks me about boys :c
