Just told my mother about that I'm a woman...

I've already come out about my sexuality to my family and friends before when I had to announce that I was bisexual. I received nothing but love and endless acceptance from everyone in my life, and didn't have a single case of negative backlash. I'm blessed with a very supportive environment, and I'm thankful for it as many of us don't have such kind situations.

Recently however, I began to share about my gender. I've told three friends, and they've all been extremely supportive of me and continue to love me as always. I decided today that it was time to tell my mom, whom was possibly there for me the most when I came out as bi, and perhaps my expectations were just set too high this time around.

She says she supports me, but I can tell that somewhere in her mind lies doubt. Immediately after telling her, she said 'talking to a professional is the first step'. She may have meant it innocently, but the way I took it was that I need a psychologists approval to tell me who I am. That rubbed me wrong way.

I asked for her thoughts. She said she's afraid for me, as people aren't accepting. I tried to assure her that my generation is much, much different from the outlook of hers (we have a 42 year age gap, it's a struggle at times to relate and it adds to a lot of problems)
I told her that my friends and family are all extremely supportive and reminded her of the great community we are fortunate enough to be part of.

I told her that if someone couldn't accept me for whom I (or anyone else, for that matter) was on the inside, then they aren't worth a moment of time spent on them. Humans are extremely flawed, probably the most flawed thing on this planet. I am no exception, and those flaws are what make diversity so beautiful.

She responded reminding me of what people around her age would think. She began to tell me that it would be a big surprise to many, and a lot would take a long time to adjust or never would.

I replied by reminding her that I'd rather be who I am than try to live to make everyone else comfortable. If my identity makes you feel that way, then turn around. I have bigger fish to fry than worrying about strangers opinions.

Yet again, her optimism doesn't seem nearly as strong as my own.

I see how hard so many people have to work to come to terms with themselves, and to come out to the world. I feel like my identity is less validated because I don't feel the same struggles to be me, and it makes me feel insecure about my decision to change. I don't feel like there should be anything wrong with being confident and not concerned with others, but her reactions caused me to feel almost put down.

Is there something strange about feeling no reservations about being true to myself and others? Or, is there some kind of expected angst that supposedly must come with it? I felt so confident in my decision, until this conversation started playing out.

Sorry this is honestly huge, I just needed to get it all out and it's always so helpful to hear from those who can relate. If you hung in there and read this all, thank you and here's a kiss!

 

Thank you for thinking I'm strong, I really appreciate you saying that. I always felt that people who could just openly drop big news like that regarding their sexuality / identity weren't truly as commited to said things, and though that may be the case at times I think that confidence can play a big roll in it as well. I just want to be happy, like we all do! I just don't want my mother fearing for me... There's nothing to fear but fear itself!

I just think I feel let down after the unbelievable amount of support last time I had come to her with similar news. This time the reaction seemed so different, like instead of being happy for me she's just concerned that I won't have a good quality of life because of it. I feel like it's totally opposite, and that my quality of life has nowhere to go but up once I can become who I want to be.