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Scared of coming out to my friends

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Lauraunnie, Mar 30, 2015.

  1. Lauraunnie

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Finland
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    The title is not the best, sorry about that. :grin:

    But I want to tell you what happened to me today and you know, maybe someone can share if they've experienced something like this.

    So a little 'history': I'm very comfortable with my sexuality and I feel totally ready to come out to everyone. So, I had planned for a while that I would come out to a few of my closest friends on my birthday (March 30th, today hehe) because I knew we were going to hang out together. I had even planned what I was going to say and everything like that. But I noticed that I kept avoiding it like "Oh, now is not a good time. Maybe in 20 minutes." And as you might guess, I never told them. :grin:
    This is kind of weird because usually I'm not like this at all, I stick to my plan even if I'm a little scared, but this time I don't know why I couldn't do it. :grin:

    (Also this might be a little off-topic but I think this is the right place for this.)
    Have you experienced something like this? :astonished:
     
  2. vicky90

    Full Member

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    Happy Birthday!! :slight_smile: (*hug*)

    I can very well relate to this. :slight_smile: You are quite young compared to me. I am 25 and I have been procrastinating this since many weeks. I have already come out to four people so far and I have some more people in mind to whom I want to come out but it is getting delayed, without any reason.

    Thoughts ranging from: E.g. may be I will do it later, what is the hurry, I should not wait, There is no point in doing it, I definitely should be true to these few people, I am living a lie, I dont think they will easily understand this, I think it will lead to difficult conversations, Are these friends really "close" enough to share such thing,... etc..

    So - yes, I also do feel scared !

    I am trying to gain some courage and stay focused in the days to come when I have made some plans...

    Hope we cross this bridge sooner.. (*hug*)
     
  3. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    well, it's good that you were able to enjoy your birthday with your friends. maybe something in your gut just didn't feel right about doing it today. That's OK. When it does feel right, then go with it. That might be with the whole crowd, it might be with just a few friends or even just one of them. but when that moment comes, go for it!
     
  4. JooBooGoo

    Regular Member

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    I know the feeling, in fact it's the entire reason it took me three months after I originally planned to finally come out to some of my closer friends.
    But don't despair, unless one of your friends is going away soon, you have all the time in the world to come out to them, so do it when you are ready.
    But if you are going to set a due date, just make sure to prepare as if you are in a school play or something, rehearse your lines in front of your (insert pet or mirror here), take deep breaths, etc.
    And you could always come out via email/group message if you want also...