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should i come out to my parents?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TheAnon32, Apr 1, 2015.

  1. TheAnon32

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    I want to be out to my parents because I hate having to act happy and cheerful when I'm struggling with being in the closet but i don't want other people, even other family members, because news spreads fast where I live. I want to be open when I'm finished high school in 2 years but is it right for me to tell them and then ask them to keep this secret for so long. I don't think they would react badly enough to kick me out but I think my dad may take time warming up to accepting it and I'm sure my mom would want to talk to one of her friends about but I'm not ready for others to know yet. Should i tell them? I just want to be honest with them.
     
  2. Deadsouls

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    To be honest I would really ponder this and since you live in a different region than the United States I really do not know how homophobic the area you live is. That being said, I would come to them and be honest with them to not tell anyone else. This is your parents and if you have good parents, they will keep their mouths shut and not mention it to anyone.
     
  3. Mirko

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    Hi there! You said a couple of things that indicate it would be better to give it a bit more time before you come out to your parents. If you feel that you are not ready for others to know, either within the wider family, or outside of your family, it would be best to wait than until you feel comfortable with others knowing.

    Have you come out to one or two friends, or to someone that you trust?
     
  4. Deadsouls

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    I would come out to friends first to be honest over family members. Friends are replaceable but blood is thicker than water.
     
  5. TheAnon32

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    I have come out to 2 friends who are both understanding. I do live in a very homophobic part of the world but my brother tells me in the local university he attends people really don't care as much.
     
  6. Mirko

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    Hi there! I think it's great that you were able to come out to two supporting friends already! Before you come out to your parents, I would suggest that you continue coming out to your friends, and build your support network first. Having a strong support network, can make a difference especially should you need to rely on its support. The more you come out, and know that people support you, the stronger you will also become in facing different reactions from your parents. :slight_smile:
     
  7. TheAnon32

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    thx for all the advice :slight_smile:
     
  8. Andrew99

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    Tell them!
     
  9. Foz

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    It's something you're going to have to do one time. What are their attitudes to gay marriage? You could try saying you're learning about equal marriage round the world in school and see what they say about that, their responses should be a good indicator.
     
  10. TheAnon32

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    Seeing as i go to a catholic school equal marriage won't really come up. Im sure my mum would be ok its just my dad is kind of old school. I'm 16 and he is 62. When i brought up with my dad how my country is talking about legalizing weed and how i found it stupid because homosexuality is still illegal here he just responded with "you support gay marriage?" and i said "well yes?" and he didn't say anything after. I don;t really know what that meant.
     
  11. OnTheHighway

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    The fact that he did not say anything is actually better than if he would have said something negative!
     
  12. Winter Maiden

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    might be best to give it a bit more time o: but its up to you seeing as though your parents haven't reacted in nagatively
     
  13. Austin

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  14. TheAnon32

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    im not sure if anyone is still following this but does anybody still have any advice? My brother now knows and we have talked about when I would tell my parents. We believe my mum would be fine but we don't know how our dad would react. My brother is a bit closer to him and he said he may prog him a little on the topic of homosexuality just to test for me his tolerance.