Unsure. Sexual orientation advice?

First off, welcome to EC. I think there are many people on this site that has gone through something similar as to what you're going through. I think you should avoid labeling yourself for now and do what makes you happy, whether it's being with a guy or a girl. You're still pretty young and don't have to label yourself right now. That's my best advice to you. Try being with someone and see if you're happ. Maybe give girls a shot. Hope this helps you some.

 

Honestly Try not to worry too much!
Just like you who like, and go with that. If its a boy one week see how it goes, and if its a girl next month try it out.
Evenually you'll find where you want to be, or maybe you'll settle right in the middle.
The easiest thing to do its FEEL it out and not try to get your mind set for how you THINK you should be feeling.

 

Yeah, I have some advice; just relax. If you're gay then you're gay, if you're straight then you're straight. Though from what you said about truly finding girls more attractive than guys, then you're probably not straight.

When I figued out I was gay, I thought it couldn't possibly be me either, but, alas, it is.

 

I agree with the other posters. You don't have to label yourself.
Give yourself some time to accept all this,yourself.
Maybe try to find out if there are any lgbt places near you that you could check out.
You could try to google lesbian gay bi transgender sites to see.
Go easy on yourself...you'll do fine. Good luck and keep us posted...we care.

 

Does your school have a GSA (gay/straight alliance) or similar organization? If so, check it out, and talk to people there. It was helpful to my sister in high school as she was trying to sort out her own feelings. (I, on the other hand, had no idea I might have a "gay side" 'til I got to college, and even my straight feelings were slow to develop and rather muted.)

If not, then yeah, keep using the internet. Look up threads written by other people here who have questioned their sexuality. That's what I did when I came here to re-open exploration of feelings I've long buried, and I think I understand it a little better. I also talked to my sister.

 

Hey I used to be in your exact situation. I made up stories saying I liked guys and such and I generally agree with the rest of the peeps here too I mean you just gotta try it out keep an open mind whatever happens happens. I used to think "me? Nah, what are the chances that I could like women?" And well here we are a year later still indecisive sure I mean pft it's a flippy situation but in general I like women.

So yeah I basically said what everyone else said. Not really good advice lol.

 

I think she already has.

But I agree with the message still: you don't have to rush to put a label on yourself. Give it time and don't stress too much over it. You may be lesbian, you may be bisexual, you may be straight with same-sex curiosities, we don't know. You may become more certain of and comfortable with yourself as time goes on, and I hope that you do.

 

This could have been written by me two years ago, except I was 17, not 16 and at that point I was still afraid to look on sites like EC because I was unwilling to admit I was anything but straight. I never felt attracted to guys and remember making myself believe I had crushes on guys because that was the "normal" thing to do. You're already off to a good start by doing the research and joining this forum. Everyone else is right, no need to rush and label yourself. As you find out more info and talk to more people, you'll probably feel more comfortable about it all. I know that it wasn't until I found this site 4 months ago that I was willing to label myself as a lesbian. Just take your time and as it goes by, you'll figure it out. If you are comfortable talking to people, you might want to seek out an LGBT (and allies) group for teens in your area. I started questioning myself at the end of my senior year, so by then it was too late to join GSA, so I had to wait til college. But as soon as I got here this year, I sought out the queer groups on campus. I can't tell you what a difference it has made to talk to other gay people and hear their experiences. It made me a lot more comfortable with who I am. It's obviously optional, but for me at least, talking helps. Good luck with everything!

 

Hello there! Welcome to EC

I, and many, many others on this site have been in this situation. In fact, I would describe myself as still in this situation - still not sure of my exact orientation, even though I've been unsure for about 10 years now!

There is no need to come to any firm conclusion now or ever (and it's always legitimate to change how you view your orientation throughout your life), but it can be helpful to try and get used to the idea that you might not be straight, even if it turns out that you are. Sometimes when we are just starting out on this journey, it's hard to figure things out, especially as you don't know how much is denial, and how much is that you may, actually, not be gay.

What you describe sound like crushes, and may well be a sign that you're gay. I certainly felt that way at your age and now feel it was a sign. However, sexuality is fluid, and you may find that in time you become more attracted to men, or you may be bi.

Try not to examine yourself too much (this can drive you mad and make you go round in circles!), but if you really feel you must, one way I personally like to think of things is to think about who it is that I think of all the time, who makes my heart race when I see them, who I go out of my way to bump into, who I'm tongue-tied around, and who I can't get out of my head. And then think of their gender, or of more than one gender, what the pattern is of people I feel this way about. Some people might talk about who it is you're sexually attracted to, but I've found that less helpful, as I've found that it wasn't until I began to accept that I might not be straight that I began to recognise these crushes as sexual.

So my general advice is to just try not to think about it too much, but at this stage to just try and accept that you might not be straight, and then see how you feel. If you find yourself thinking about it, think about who it is that you are always thinking about and want to be around - this can be a sign.

But I think that the best advice I can give is to stick around EC for the time being .

 

1ST. welcome
2nd. only you can no if your a lesbian

 

Welcome Danniluv From what you've said, it sounds like you might be gay. But stress on the word 'might' there - as everyone else has said, no need to rush or whatever.

It sounds like you feel a bit uncomfortable or strange in considering the idea that you might be gay, is that right? If so, that's just how I felt at first. It didn't really feel real that perhaps those feelings really did mean I wasn't straight, because I had always clung to that. Perhaps you could try to accept/come to terms with the idea that you could be gay, and then it will become easier to work out whether you really are or not. Either way, welcome (*hug*)

 

Hi and welcome to EC.

I myself went through this confusion and at some extreme times was rather repulsed, thinking how in hell could I not be like all my other friends? In time I did come to accept that I was gay. I know it is a hard thing to accept, it goes against "The Plan" my parents had for my life.

But everyones experience is different, we may have gone through the same ordeal but how we think and reason with ourselves is very different. This decision is by far the hardest you will ever make. It will take time and, for me, was emotionally stressful. Don't let some of it turn inwards and destroy who you are. Be yourself.

The answer will become more obvious in future. It will take time and remember, all good things come to those who wait.

Take care and good luck
Tom

 

We all know that feeling its like your telling yourself its impossible but really thats just that part of you that wants to push those feelings away. all i'll say is that if you have these feeling dont push them away it will only make things worse trust me i did it far to long and now im mad that i did. best of luck