Did anyone ever feel like they missed their time to come out?

had the same thoughts lately...
I will probably wait with my family until I found "the one"

 

i wish i had told my mom when i was still a child. i tried telling her when i was 13 or 14 and it just turned in to a big argument with her just asking if i was gay which i guess i am but not how my mom thought.

 

Yep. I know that there's really nothing that says I can't come out later, but I really feel like my window is closing, if not already shut.

 

I kind of wish I had known I was gay when I was a bit younger & in hindsight I regret waiting so long to come out when I knew.

But you know what? It's never too late and all that matters is moving forward.

 

I've felt like that multiple times. On many occasions, I have found myself with the closet door wide open but I have chosen to remain in the shadows inside of it. Do you get what I mean? The opportunity had and still does present itself but I have not yet taken advantage of it because it just isn't time. I am not ready.

It's not a matter or missing your chance, it's a matter of doing it when you are ready and the time is actually right.

Reflect on your time in middle school: Were you really ready to come out? How would your life have been impacted if you had come out back then? What lessons would/wouldn't you have learned?

I believe that everything happens for a reason at the time it is meant to happen. Once you do finally come out, I believe it will make sense to you why you waited.

Best of luck to you!

 

I think I came out way too early. I consider it a fail even though other people wouldn't. I tried to come out to my parents, but they just told me it was a phase. I still can't trust my own feelings because of that. It's been very traumatic. If I could tell younger myself one thing, I would tell myself to stay closeted.

 

my mom once asked me if i was gay a while back it caught me off guard and i avoided the question and refused to give a straight answer (no pun intended) until the convo just ended) she hasnt brought it up again i feel now like it was the perfect chance to tell her and i blew it

 

Ya but then I came out so it's ok now.

---------- Post added 4th Apr 2015 at 11:43 PM ----------

No it's not shut and it never will be!

 

It's certainly how I feel, I'm nearly 23 and it feels like I'm running out of time otherwise people will think I'm just saying I'm gay because I've not had a GF in ages, rather than I've not had a GF because I'm gay! But yeah, it is quite stressy.

 

It is never too late to come out, if your situation warrants it. it is just easier to do it earlier, before you do a lot of denials about who you are, and then have to reverse yourself in the eyes of others. At some point it begins to feel like you have been lying to others about yourself, rather than simply keeping the truth to yourself, or simply not knowing exactly who you are so you can tell others, which is not than uncommon for people with mixed orientations or low levels of sexual intensity.

My point is that the time to do it is when it feels right to YOU to do it, whenever that moment might arrive in your own life. There is no specific date or age at which it is "too late", it is just that your life is finite and the sooner you come out, the longer time you will have to live a rich full life with your chosen partner, or like minded friends or people you encounter in the gay world.

 

In my late twenties, I definitely felt like it was too late for me to come out. That's part of what prompted me to join EC. But since I've started the process and am now out to most of the people I'm closest to - and I'm dating - I realized that it was never a question of it being too late to come out. It was always a matter of me being ready. I wasn't mature or brave enough to come out in my teens; not in the environment I grew up in. And it took me a long time to build my self esteem to the point where I was able to accept myself and live the life I wanted to live.

Point is that you'll never miss that window because that windows is yours to create. Yes, it would be great if we could all come out as early as possible so we can maximize the amount of time we have to be ourselves. But it's never too late. And you can be ready at any age.

 

Yup. Once I was riding in the car, and on the radio they were talking about how gay marriage was just made legal in my state. My dad was like, "It's about time!" and then he looked at me in the rearview mirror and said, "Took forever. It's not like there's anything wrong with being gay. If you ever think maybe you like girls, don't think you need to hide it from me, okay?" I just nodded, stunned, and tried to force myself to respond, but ended up not saying a word. Afterwards I was angry at myself for not saying something right then since the subject was already brought up. >.<

 

3 times me and my dad have been talking and he says "you know you can tell me anything,right" and every time i always keep everything to myself and i feel really bad for it. the worst part is i keep nearly everything hidden from my parents and even most of my friends . now im going to an lgbt group every Wednesday and my parents still have no idea what im doing since all i say is "going town to meet some friends" if i carry on like this they'll never know :/

 

This is what I do, though I've been slowly learning to look past that and realize that if they don't want to be friends/know me anymore then it's their loss.

On topic though, I really wish I had know about hormons and transitioning when I was younger so I would've already had my life sorted out and could focus on college.

 

STOP READING MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :roflmao:

 

Oh yes for me certainly. But not in that, I should have told Dad during that drive in the country last month... More of in that, I should have done this 25 years ago way.

 

Yes, but it was bad. My brother was saying, "Are you a lesbian?" and things like "Don't become a lesbian, all right?" and "Are you questioning yourself?". Still haven't told him but I think I have to. And I'm only half-gay. Bisexual. Which makes it even worse because... damn it, I know he's gonna think that he can straighten me up if I'm bi, but THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. I fall in love with individual personalities and faces and people... and I don't think society or my bro currently understands that.

 

No I actually feel that I came out too early. Which may seem weird to some of you.