Coming Out To Parents

How old are you for a start? The it's a 'phase' or 'influence' is something that affects younger people more as they do tend to (I know I sure did!) have a few phases, albeit sexuality isn't one of them. I've not really been here long, but I've heard from quite a few people with homophobic or religious parents who didn't hate them and that is a majority. Up until now their experience of homosexuals is entirely theoretical, but when your flesh and blood is reaching out to you for support on an emotional level, most realise that family comes first and that family togetherness in the bible plays a larger part than hate. Though most are stunned when they first hear it, the first reaction isn't to kick them out, they often take a few days to get to grips with it. When you come out and the first thing you hear is silence, that's usually a good thing as it means they're actually thinking and not automatically following religious doctrine.

 

We are exactly in the same boat. Homophobic catholic parents. IMO, if you not coming out would not be that much of a big deal then I think you should wait a little longer. While waiting, ready yourself for the bad things that might happen and the foul words you might hear. You can also ask for help here, lots of wise people here on EC are more than willing to help you! You can also talk to me, if you want.

But if you really need to come out to them, then you should be strong and brave and be ready for anything.

Things will get better, I guarantee you that.


I might as well share you my story. Like Ive said, I am living with homophobic people. My aunts and cousin even said that if they found out that I am gay I would be a GREAT disgrace in our family name. So with that, I became very afraid to come out to any of my family members. But this is how I plan to come out. When I get a job outside the country or anywhere else where I need to move out of our house, I would right them a letter on how much pain they have cost me but despite those I still love them. Of course, in that letter I would also come out to them.

I hope my ramblings made sense and I hope that I have helped you. Goodluck bro

 

Yeah,same story for me. Do it at your own pace. My mother is a little more lenient in her faith so I came out to her first. My father is "very religious" even though he doesn't get up for church, lol, had my ass dragged there every Sunday. He is very absorbed into the "man culture, so I told him later. Not gonna lie, both parents are still frustrated with "it", but it felt great to get off my chest. Anywho, your situation might be different and I don't know your family so I can't size up when and who to tell. You've got this though and don't forget that it's your life and when your parents are dead and gone, it will be you and whatever you have left in your life to live.

 

My biological parents weren't catholic but I can identify... They had death-to-gays mentality in the name of Christianity and when I came out it was bad beating taken from my house then they relinquished their rights to me... But after that my got infinitely better... You won't always to answer to your parents. If they don't accept you it's their loss not yours

 

I kind of identify with almost everything golgari said. (The exception is the letter part. )

Anyway, right now, you're 14. You're awfully young. To me, coming out right now is a pretty bad idea (given your conditions). I know it's going to be really hard to keep your sexuality to yourself, but you have to think forward about what they can do to you.

Your sexuality is your business, but your safety is also your business. It can be likely that they'd send you to a camp to change you up. And that can be torture. As bad as it sounds, you have to be very careful and open to this possibility, especially if you've witnessed how against they are with LGBT people.

Like golgari, I also plan to come out when I'm able to stand on my own two feet, able to look after myself. Just so if they react negatively to my coming out, I'd be relatively safe from any harm.


You can always talk to us, and hope that whatever you're feeling, you'll be able to freely express here. Best of luck.