Hi, I have a question for anyone who would like to answer... If you came out as bi to your partner, how did that go? I am going through a pretty bad experience so just wondered about other people's experiences with this.
Hi, my partner is one of the few people who knows. I didn't really come out to him because he knew i was bi before we got together. I came out to my boyfriend before him though... it went along the lines of: ME- "you know i like girls too?" HIM - "OK, does it change anything about us?" ME - "nope" I was 18 and everything was simple. I've never had to come out to any of my ex-girlfriends. A bit harder now, my husband knows, it's still a part of my sexuality. He always tries to be accepting and supportive. Sometimes i think it makes him worry/ feel insecure about our relationship and whether one day i'll change my mind and want something different. Those talks are difficult, but we both know it's about understanding how the other person feels so we work through them. I'm still bi, i just happen to have married a man, i don't intend to ever be in a relationship with anyone other than him. What's happening with you? Are you out to your partner? you don't say much about your experience other than it's bad - don't want to assume anything - but wishing you good luck xxx
Hi oJustMe, Thanks for the response. I wish my boyfriend was as understanding. I told my boyfriend of 4 years about a month ago because I had just accepted it myself and was finally ready to deal with it. He basically said I had lied to him about who I was the whole relationship. He just doesn't understand anything about what being bi actually means. He didn't want to accept it at all at first which was really hard for me as I have never told anyone else before and it was the worse response possible. He told me he didn't want to date a bi person and that I am not the same person he fell in love with. That looking at me made him feel sick. We split up for a week but he said he is sorry with how he handled it and he wants to try and work through it. He thinks that I want to be with girls or that one day I will change my mind and be a lesbian. I've tried explaining it to him that I wont one day just become lesbian but he doesn't believe me. He is trying to accept it now but i feel like im on edge all the time waiting for him to leave or something. He said it is hard to understand that I like both guys and girls and that I will feel like im missing out all the time. He thinks that I will cheat with a girl even though I have said it doesn't change who I want to be with and I would never cheat. I just feel like i'm at a point where I need him to accept all of me, do you know what I mean? Its like no one trusts you or believes that your bi, that your just in denial or whatever. Ugh. Sorry for long response!
I'm sorry that your boyfriend isn't taking it well. i guess it must have been a bit of a shock but i suppose at least he's apologised for how he reacted. Even though my husband knew i was bi when we started dating, he was a long time coming to terms with it. Same as yours he was worried that i'd cheat on him with girls or that one day i'd just wake up and not find him attractive anymore. it doesn't help that i balanced this with "if i were straight you could still worry that i'd cheat/ stop finding you attractive"! I completely know what you mean... my sexuality doesn't affect my moral ability... but somehow they think it makes you twice as likely to hurt them! I actually spoke to my husband about your post when he came home at lunch and he said about how he felt bad that because i was bi it sort of took him longer to trust me in the beginning. No relationship is perfect. It sounds like he's important to you, so give him some time to realise that nothing has changed. Congratulations on coming out - especially to yourself (that's the most important person who can accept you). I hope you can soon feel loved and accepted for who you are xxxx
I'm sure he will get over u being bi and all If he loves u for who u are then he will accept it and it wont bother him that much good luck (;
