Coming Out To Very Religious Parents

Are you sure that your brother is not bluffing? Or is he blackmailing you?

Maybe you can get help from friends or school advisors. Someone of authority. Maybe get some help form a hotline or an LGBT group nearby. Just so when the stuff hits the fan, you can have people to support you.

I think you need to have some sort of support before you do anything.

 

I'm sorry you have such a ignorant and hateful dad. Don't come out or do anything to make anyone suspect you're gay. Knowing some supportive people/groups is a good idea just in case. I hope you can make it safely to an age you can move out and be on your own. Start doing something to make money and save it. I had a paper route and did yard work when I was 14. You can always talk to us here but make sure you don't get caught viewing this or any gay site. I do wish you the best!

 

(First, I am going to assume that your parents are Christian. With a little research, there are lots of similar things for other religions.) If he abuses you, you can always contact someone. As far as I can tell, in your state, homosexuality does not justify beatings, so if he tries to hit you, remind him he could be arrested. Talk to your brother and explain how you could be hurt - emotionally and physically. Even if he is a bully, you may have to swallow your pride and/or morals, and beg him not to tell. Is it worse to owe a bully a favour, or to possible be beaten up and thrown out of your house. On the other hand, though, your parents may repent their homophobic ways, and be understanding. From your fathers behaviour, that seems unlikely, but would your mother be sympathetic? Really, if you can prevent them from knowing that would be ideal, but you could always try to reason with them if they find out. Remind them that it's not a choice, it is not "curable" or a "disease". Tell them about how in the bible, Jesus blessed a homosexual (apparently), and David and Jonathan's relationship. Tell them that only God can judge you, and "hate the sin, not the sinner" and things like that. In the worst case, could you move in with these friends who are supportive? Would they let you stay with them until you get a job? Are there homeless shelters near you if that fails? As noangeleither said, support networks are important.

 

Phone a hotline for LGBT teens support and maybe ask them to patch you through to a place where people can help you if the worst case scenario happens.

If you can, tell your friends this situation of yours, I'm betting they can help you through this, or at least have their parents help you out. Of course, this might mean that you'd come out to more people but if they can support you if stuff hits the fan, I'd say it's worth outing yourself.

Please contact EC Advisors for they will know more on how to help you.

Hold in there, mate. Stay strong. And keep your calm.

 

He said you can't reason with him, so you should try. If that doesn't work, go up to your parents and tell them he is spreading lies about you. Say that you are totally straight, and your brother is jealous. If you have female friends, you could even get one to pose as a girlfriend and ask your parents if she can come over (though that might cause problems in the future). If they are really against homosexuality, you probably don't want to come out to them anytime soon, so just lie to them. You say that your dad chastised you for looking at pictures of men, but just say that you wished you had abs like him. That sounds totally normal to a person who is not paranoid about this like you probably are.

 

That is very good to hear. But it's still best to avoid putting yourself in harm's way. Be careful! Good luck.

 

That's great to hear. You're very lucky to have friends and their parents who support you 100%. Please do take care of yourself and as much as possible, do not mind your brother right now. I hope everything turns out well for you, Dylan. And we'd love to hear updates on what's happening. But also, I hope you'd take some time to enjoy yourself in this site. You may need some break from all this stressful stuff.

Best of luck!

 

Please keep us posted! My heart goes out to you, and I wish you the best. If you ever need advice you can PM me or any admins. Best luck.

 

I'm so so sorry about your parents. My advice is contacting your friend beforehand so their family can be ready to take you in. Make sure you put your physical, and emotional safety first. Best of luck xx

 

I completely understand. My parents wouldn't physically harm me but I'm terrified of being disowned if I come out. Anyway if you want to talk I'm going into counseling so I might could help

---------- Post added 12th Apr 2015 at 05:45 PM ----------

I'm here if you need me and I'm praying for you even I that means nothing just know I'm here

 

I can understand. I almost did. But regardless of what you believe I'm here if you need anything. I understand. Let me know if I can do anything.

 

Okay. And please please know that anything I can do I will. Im supporting you all the way