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Coming out to school

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Im Hazel, Apr 12, 2015.

?

Should I come out in an assembly?

  1. Yes, tell friends first

    2 vote(s)
    11.1%
  2. Yes, don't tell friends

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. No, only tell friends

    14 vote(s)
    77.8%
  4. Other (Please post!)

    2 vote(s)
    11.1%
  1. Im Hazel

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    So, I am 90% sure that I am transgender. I haven't yet spoken to a gender therapist, but I have a councillor, and that helps. I feel like people have an obligation to know about me, and I would also like the right pronouns. I am sure that all of my friends except one would be accepting, and am ready to cast him off if need be. I have had the idea of talking for a few minutes at the end of an assembly. The next one is friday. I have enough "influence" in the school to make an announcement if I want, and I feel like I want to.

    But at the same time, I have doubts. I feel like I should tell my friends first. But a lot happens between teusday (when I go back) and friday. I could tell my friends, and everyone could know by the time I go to tell them. Also, I "came out" as asexual a few months back on a school trip.

    This happened because I was sharing a room with 3 guys in the year above on a school trip. These people were planning on sneaking off and having sex with some girls in another room. I didn't want to because I am not attracted to women, and I didn't want to be caught or expelled. I can't say I don't want to because they will assume that I have an STD or something. I couldn't say I'm gay (or transgender straight), so I said that I am asexual. I can't explain this story, because the people would get in trouble. And that wouldn't be good for me. I could probably just say I was repressing my sexuality, and that it has no bearing on gender, but this is rural England. Most people won't understand.

    I am worried that people will think I am attention seeking. I haven't even chosen a female name yet! I feel like this is a bad idea, but the good outweighs the bad. I can handle any teasing, but not rejection because they think I'm attention-seeking. The best thing I can think of is explaining a few terms, like "dysphoria", to show how serious I am.

    So, should I do this? It seems a little showy, if nothing else. (I will also mention my sexuality, but people have probably already guessed that.)
     
    #1 Im Hazel, Apr 12, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2015
  2. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    I would only tell friends. but good luck with whatever you choose to do.
     
  3. Im Hazel

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    Yeah, that may be the best option. I think I will do that, until I get an appointment with a gender therapist. I'll probably tell some teachers too, maybe even get one to email all the teachers.
     
  4. Purp

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    Out to everyone
    Damn, coming out during an assembly is ballsy, but hey, do what is most comfortable for you! Plan accordingly though with how you choose to do it! :slight_smile:
     
  5. Im Hazel

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    It's not very comfortable, though. It is just convenient. I think I will tell all my friends in little groups / on their own, as well as my form tutor (that's a teacher who we see every day to register us in the mornings. I'm not sure how it works across the pond.) Hopefully she will tell the other teachers, and I'll probably try to do a full assembly on LGBQT rights & issues, with a few other people at a later date. I think that would be fine. Thanks for replying, guys!
     
  6. Mirko

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    Hi there! Try to follow your instincts on coming out to your friends and others. It is okay to start with one friend, and then take it slowly from there.

    If you feel the urge to let others know, you could start by saying that you are questioning your gender identity, and feel stronger feelings towards one identity and that you are trying to get help to understand it all better.

    It sounds like that your teacher or form tutor would be a good person to come out to; so maybe talk to her first and take it from there. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Im Hazel

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    I have already come out to my mom, a friend, my sister, and partially my dad. (My dad is actually about to phone, so he should know everything in a few minutes.) Thanks for the advice, guys! :slight_smile:
     
  8. Im Hazel

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    Ok, just came out to my dad. Feelin' :thumbsup:, right now. Totally going to tell my friends tomorrow, and probably a teacher or two. I don't want all the teachers to know just yet, but I'm probably going to organize an assembly (if I can) to raise awareness of LGBT issues, and come out at the same time. Then again, everyone could know by then... Hopefully not! Thanks for the support, guys.
     
  9. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    have you considered getting one of those planes that flies big banners around, or that does sky writing, to announce it at a football game? Insane, I know, but probably less scary than announcing it in front of an assembly. Yeah, low key is probably a much better way to go. Tell people you trust, people who will support you, and not people who will hurt you. Even telling just those who are safest to tell still takes a huge amount of courage. But you sound like a pretty courageous person to me. :goodluck:
     
  10. Im Hazel

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    Hehe, thanks, Wildside. I don't think those banner-plane thingies would be the most practical, so I think I'll just go with telling friends. When I am more sure, I am totally doing an assembly on LGBT rights and coming out, though. Because I love the idea of being able to help other people, as well as force people to listen to me telling them not to discriminate against me for it.
     
  11. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    great strategy! you've given this some real thought, and come up with a good plan. telling friends will give you a network of support, so when you do the assembly you'll have some people there to applaud the loudest and lead everyone else. The assembly is quite courageous, but I think that the effort on other kids who are struggling with their sexuality will be enormously positive. (!)(!!)(!)
     
  12. Im Hazel

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    Well, you shouldn't congratulate me until I do it! I asked at my school, and the nearest slot is in a few months time. Oh well, I still have a lot of people to tell. :slight_smile: