I've never officially come out. I've only told a couple of "real life" people, but I've haven't told the ones who matter (ie: family and a few friends). The thought of coming out and being judged and disowned terrifies me. I know deep down that it's probably obvious since I'm not as feminine as the average girl, but I still can't bring myself to say the words. Once I told my best friend in the strictest of confidence, and she pretty much "outed me" to a close friend after a night of drinking. The response was awful. They were like "omg, you're gay?!" (in a disgusted tone), so of course I said "no I'm not!" since I was backed into a corner. That experience alone was traumatic for me, because I suffer from both anxiety and depression. I don't know what to do. Not being myself is draining me. I know people say to just tell them and if they truly love me, they'll accept it and stick around...but to me that's easier said than done
I know it's tough to have people not accept you, I won't sugarcoat how awful that feels. The best you can do is love yourself for who you are, and if others don't, then screw 'em! (Not... literally) That said, you've got to come out on your own terms, when you're ready and comfortable with doing so. There's no rush. You might have to prepare yourself for some negative responses, but trust me, the feeling of not having to hide who you are anymore will be worth all of that. And we'll be here to support you all the way x
