Hey everyone, so I'm a very girly girl, and I am also a cheerleader, so naturally everyone assumes I'm straight. I came out to my sister and my dad (my mom is out of the picture) and they are currently the only ones who know. My dad is in denial, and the first thing he told me after I came out was to use protection if I had sex with a boy anyway. Most people come out to their friends before their family, but I am absolutely terrified of what all my friends would think. I never had a good time at school or many friends up until this year, and I don't want to ruin this good thing that I have going. There are only about 2 or 3 openly gay couples (all lesbians, no gay boys) in the school and there's one couple that is very open and sit on each others laps and stuff. My friends like to say, "Ew, wtf, we're trying to eat," and stuff like that. When we were at the latest school dance a gay couple was dancing next to my group of friends, and my one friend just says, "Wow, uhm, yeah, just pretend like we're having a good time," and gives them a dirty look before pulling us away to dance somewhere else. I was talking to my other friend and she told me how she wanted to throw up because she found out this girl she had changed in front of was bisexual. That one worries me a lot because during the cheer season we all change together at least once, sometimes twice a day. I feel like if I came out they would all be scared I was checking them out, but I never do. They are cheerleaders so of course they are (almost) all gorgeous but whenever we talk in the locker rooms I always look them in the face, because I wouldn't want some creepy dude, or even a lesbian I wasn't interested in, checking me out when I changed. A specific thing a different friend said when we were all changing together in the bathroom (the locker rooms got locked lol irony) that it was fine if someone walked in, and it was fine because we were all girls and none of us were lesbian, and if one of us was, that would be weird. My friends assume I'm straight because I don't look like a stereotypical lesbian, so they have no problem saying homophobic things to me. I know that this is nothing compared to the violence and hatred shown towards some members of the LGBT community, but it still bothers me. I don't know. Do any of you guys have advice on if I should come out or maybe addressing some of their fears that I'm a creeper? I don't know I just kinda had to let this all out. TLDR; will people think I check them out in the locker rooms?
Your friends don't sound like very accepting people. Unfortunately you can't control their reactions, and those friends sound like they would be worried about you checking them out. I personally would respond that they need to get over themselves. Just come out when you feel comfortable. Sidenote: Have you ever seen "But I'm a Cheerleader"?
Yes the other day actually I love that movie haha. But not they are really not there was another lesbian on the team at the beginning of the year but she moved for unrelated reasons. Anyways she showed a couple of them a picture of her with her girlfriend and they were openly laughing and saying to each other that they could never do something like that and it was gross. One of my friends who saw the picture teased me saying oh, she doesn't think it's gross because I had previously told her that I was "talking" to a girl I knew. Of course I was mortified and I panicked and told her no way, it wasn't like that. Cheerleaders are mean :icon_sad:
Yeah, they don't sound very nice. It's up to you if you want to come out to them. You don't have to if you aren't comfortable with it. On the flip side, if you want to come out to them, go for it; it just sounds like you should expect negative reactions. Maybe you can make more accepting friends who won't care that you're gay. If you hadn't seen that movie, I would have totally recommended it to you. That's the first thing that came to mind when I read your post. Haha.
I think you should wait until college to come out. If you come out in high school, it will probably make you a target of homophobic bullying, especially among the girls on the cheer leading squad. You're always welcomed to wall message me if you need to talk to someone.
It is your decision. If you do decide to come out, think of the worst possible reactions beforehand, so you can only be pleasantly surprised. Another thing, what does cheerleading mean to you? Is it all of your friends? Do you not want to lose the social status? You most likely won't be able to make the other cheerleaders abandon their homophobia. If you did come out, you likely will no longer fit in with that group, as they will be all uncomfortable around you. I have been there, only not quite as bad as your school sounds. Either way, I believe that it would be in your best interest to try to make a few friends who are not homophobic, if possible. Maybe there is someone at your school you can talk to about your problem. I wish you the best of luck!
Oh wow.. This doesn't piss me off at all. What a shock they will get when you come out. Ugh. Such bitches. I know it is hard but if you want to keep your friendships without fear of being rejected for your sexuality then I suggest wait until you're cheerleading is finished.. or school is finished. These girls don't sound very nice. I'm so sorry you deal with that shit from them. I do have a question though.. Just out of curiosity.. Are the lesbian couples you and your friends know ''butch'' or ''fem''
Quite simply your sexuality is not your choice, its who you are. If your friends cannot accept you for who you are, well they aren't really friends. Its a damn tough choice to make coming out in high school, because of your cheerleading and changing situation if you're not accepted it could make life extremely hard on you. I know it sounds like whimping out but I would go with what AmiableSeahorse said and wait until you have finished high school.
Every lesbian at my school (that I know of) is if not butch, at least looks pretty obviously lesbian. And thank you for your response everyone has been so supportive :icon_bigg I don't think I'm gonna come out at school, it's not worth what it would cost. ---------- Post added 24th Apr 2015 at 01:56 PM ---------- Thank you all so much for your help, I have never received so much support in my life. It makes me feel so much better knowing that it's not just me who's been though this. I don't really care about dating right now (I'm a freshman), but I just wish people could know who I really was. You all are amazing I was not expecting this kind of positive response c:
