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Car rides with Dad and Coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by nohalos, Apr 14, 2015.

  1. nohalos

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    I'm not really asking for advice but I just wanna write what happened today.



    After quite a long time, my dad and I finally got some Dad & Son bonding time. We were driving home from his work. The reason I got to ride with him is because I had to get my student driver's license and his work was near there.

    We were alone in the car and we talked about stuff. University, life after university, my niece, just life in general. But then came this feeling washing over me, I wanted to come out to him clean. But I have a pretty good idea how he would react. He doesn't believe that love between two men exists.

    A perfect example is when this "news" of a celebrity's son was married to a guy. In our country, a lot of women marry foreigners just to get a secure life, and my dad related that to the situation. As the celebrity speaks how "Parents should support their children, because in supporting them in whatever they do, that's when they grow.", my dad was all like "Well, you can say that because your son married a foreigner. We all know he married that guy for money." So as you see, if I were to come out, that would be how bad the situation might become.


    Back to the car ride, I felt really bothered as I almost blurted that I was gay. Good thing I didn't, because coming out right now would be a bad idea. I've always planned that I should come out when I can support my own, so if coming out goes awry and my family basically disowns me, I could not care less about what they could say to me anymore. But it's getting so hard not to tell anyone in the family. It's slowly eating me up on the inside. I'll try to be patient as long as I can, for my own sake.


    Thank you for reading. Here's a dancing banana. (!)
     
  2. MattOnAStar

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    I quite understand how you feel, since I am in a similar situation... I know how frustrating is to have to keep everything inside.

    I send you a big hug, if you want to talk I'm here :wink:
     
  3. pgc317

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    I totally understand how you feel. I also have moments where I'm ready to just blurt it out, but at other times I'm too afraid or end up chickening out. We tell several small lies to help withhold our biggest secret. Keeping up all of those storylines, all to keep a secret so inherent to our lives, is stressful and overwhelming. Best of luck to you and hopefully your dad will eventually come around to understanding.
     
  4. nohalos

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    Thank you so much, guys! It really helps to read all that.


    Also, it gets awkward when my parents ask if I'm interested in any girls around the university. I always say "That's not a priority right now." but I've actually almost drooled a few times to really hot guys I see around campus.
     
  5. MattOnAStar

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    Yep, i can imagine... and indeed it gets even more awkward when the conversation addresses all the grandchildren topic...

    Be strong and, you'll see, eventually everything will be fine :thumbsup:
     
  6. BreannaToBrian

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    I hope everything works out for you. Man, not coming out ate me up so much and I find it odd that we would feel that way. I don't know, it's just sexual orientation right? I wouldn't have thought not sharing personal business to someone else would effect me in such a way.
     
  7. nohalos

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    Oh, I'll give 'em grandchildren alright. Just not with a wife. :roflmao:

    ---------- Post added 16th Apr 2015 at 12:36 PM ----------

    Me too. But I think I feel this way because I'm supposed to be very open to my parents and they should be very open to anything that I am or I do. But that's just not the case this time around and it can really eat someone up.