Right, I've got a mate of mine who I'm into and I've got a feeling he might be gay too. He's claimed to be homophobic to me once, but he's was perfectly fine with walking arm in arm around a village when drunk or sober on occassion, making an ass load of gay innuendos and hugging men of his own free will. Not to mention, we mess about in the pool which ends up involving a LOT of contact in some regions. This thing a homophobic does not make in my opinion. Secondly, he only appears to be homophobic in front of certain people and not me. Example, when I told him a old mate of mine I'd just been talking to earlier was bisexual, he asked me why I didn't tell him earlier so he couldn't go back and beat the crap out him. We were with his best mate at the time. Later when I was talking about said old mate, he said "God, that's a odd thing, isn't it?" None of this homophobic bull. Further more, when he was talking to his best mate about us walking arm in arm, he said we were walking with our arms across each other's shoulders. It's almost like he's trying to cover his tracks at times. I'm not sure if it was just drunken banter but he said the following when he was drunk: Him: I wouldn't touch with her a ten foot barge pool if you paid me. Me: I think you'd do ME before you even thought about going near her. Him: Well, I'd do you anyway because you're SO SEXY. And then proceeded to kiss me on the forehead. He's made several references to women before, but he's never gone into any great detail, unlike the majority of my male mates. It's only ever been a "yeah, she's hot" or something like that. I'm also fairly certain I've seen him glance at my crotch when we're getting changed for the gym or pool on more than one occasion. I resolved that I'm going to come out to him soon but I need some form of reinforcement that I'm not overanalysing and that my intuition actually has some grounds. I honestly thing this is enough evidence to support bisexuality at least. Thanks~
Sounds to me like he's a closeted...something...whether bisexual or gay i'm not sure. But if you come out to him, make sure you're ready. His "homophobicness" just seems to be a mask that he puts on around his friends to seem more macho and masculine. The whole kissing you on the forehead incident could be flirtation. But it could also be just a messing around thing. Much like football players who smack each other on the butt. When unsure though, it is best to follow your intuition. If it was a mistake, at least you know you didn't go against yourself.
In your place I wouldn't care, to be honest. In my opinion, if they want to be closeted, so be it. I'm not wasting my time. (Nasty huh? But it saves me a lot of time and energy.)
Well it sounds like your suspicions are right, but the way you word it was always going to suggest it, because essentially it is what you want. Without knowing him it's difficult to judge. I don't think you are over analysing, and I think your intuition does indeed have some grounds, but i'm not sure how much if you know what i mean, eitherway it makes sense to come out to him, but don't signal any interest in him (which is where i assume you're going with this) and then see how he reacts and go from there
Hmmm.... What worked for me in a similar situation is when my friend and I got a little drunk, and he was doing that semi-flirty thing with me, I made a move on him. At the time, I think I had the bravery because I was thinking...okay...if I do this I can just tell him that I'm drunker than I really am and I "fell" into him. But in any event, he reciprocated, and the next morning, we both faced the facts of how we'd hooked up the night before. I'm not saying alcohol as a means of coming out to your buddies is the best idea but, hey, I don't regret how things turned out or how it was executed. Whatever works.
You probably shouldn't come out simply because you're hoping he'll do the same to you and then something can happen. That's doubly true when the guy you're looking to come out to has shown homophobic behavior in the past. You should come out to him because it's an integral part of who you are, and his comments may not be meant to be aimed towards you, but they're hitting you anyway. You should come out to him because you need to know if he likes you because you're straight, or he likes you because you're you. Lex
