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Struggling to Say It Out Loud...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by shootingstar, Apr 15, 2015.

  1. shootingstar

    shootingstar Guest

    Hi everyone.

    So for a while now I've been very sure that I'm a lesbian. Lately I've been trying to say to myself out loud "I am a lesbian" and I physically can't do it...BUT, for some reason I have no problem saying out loud to myself "I am gay".

    Just wondering if any of you have experienced this? Thanks!
     
  2. Ortensia

    Ortensia Guest

    *raises hand* Yep, that was me in a nutshell.

    There was a reason behind it, for me. The word lesbian is more frequently used as a noun than an adjective, which frightened me, because it was like a THING that you are, whereas gay is more commonly used as an adjective, so it felt more like a way of DESCRIBING myself than a... well, thing. Somehow that was less scary to me, I know it's weird, but I got over it eventually and now I have no provlem calling myself a lesbian, although gay is fine.

    Here's the thing; people like identifying in different ways. If you feel more comfortable calling yourself gay than a lesbian, then that's totally cool. That's up to you. Your label is there for the sole purpose of making you comfortable expressing your identity. Don't worry about it:slight_smile:
     
  3. shootingstar

    shootingstar Guest

    Ortensia, what you say makes so much sense to me. Thanks for your advice:eusa_ange
     
  4. Lorax

    Regular Member

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    I was totally the same! Even hearing the word made me cringe so badly. When I came out to my flatmates, I said I was gay. During the conversation I told them how I couldn't bring myself to say "lesbian" so they started saying it all the time in normal conversation. They even made a game of who could say it the most in one conversation! Trust me it is really creepy when someone walks into the room whispers "lesbian..." and walks back out again! That really helped me in to finally say it out loud. But, I still refer to myself as gay more often than lesbian. As Ortensia said, use whatever term makes you feel more comfortable! Feel free to message me if you ever need to chat. :slight_smile:
     
  5. shootingstar

    shootingstar Guest

    Thanks Lorax. It's good to know I'm not the only one who's experienced this! :slight_smile:
     
  6. Awesome

    Full Member

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    Your friends sound awesome.

    Here is what you do. Go for a walk alone in the woods. When you are sure that no one is around to hear you, say, "I am a lesbian." Try saying it a bit louder. Believe me, I still feel a bit uncomfortable typing that.
     
  7. Emily1

    Regular Member

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    I've been there/sort of still am there. I am fine with saying i'm gay but the word lesbian totally freaks me out. I feel like the word lesbian has a lot of negative stigma associated with it and maybe that's why so many people uncomfortable with it? Also, the label is new and you may need time to adjust.
     
  8. fragileflame

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    I have that same problem...for some reason "lesbian" is a scary word for me. I would much rather say gay, and if that's what you are more comfortable saying. It's okay!
     
  9. Oh Lilac

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    That's how I feel right now, too, but bit even sure what to label myself. It is hard to call myself that. I'm just me.
     
  10. shootingstar

    shootingstar Guest

    Thanks everyone for your input. I guess it doesn't really matter what you label yourself as. I'm happy being me for now & I think that's all that matters.