Depressed and suicidal, chapter 486

Firstly, I'm not going to help you off yourself.

secondly: You have reached a cross road. The way i see it, you don't think things can get any worse. Which means, they can get better. Or they can end. But better would be the best option.

You're post here is a cry for help. You've recognised what you are and are hoping that someone, anyone, can help you. And know that if no one else, I am here for you. I can't guarantee that I"ll understand, but I will be there for you to talk to. I will always listen. And if I can't help, I will be a shoulder for you to lean on. Know that I love you. Any time you want someone to listen to, I will be there. I won't give advice if you don't want it. I will just listen. To whatever you want to say. Anything, no matter how insignificant you view it, i will listen as if its the most important thing in the world. Because your life...it does matter. You do matter. And if something were to happen to you, the world would never be the same. I love you. And I promise I'm not the only one. And I'm here for you. No matter what. I will always...always listen.

 

Your a good person.

I know I have no idea how you must feel right now, but suicide isn't the answer I'm sure you have heard this before but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Things may seem hopeless now and while I know it may seem like it is never going to end. From your post it seems like things must have been awful for the longest time. But there is still the hope left. I know it may not seem like it but there is still hope.

I'm not going to pretend to know you because the truth is I know very little about you. But I know this you feel bad. And that is a trait of a good person even if you messed up a few things you feel remorse something a truly bad person wouldn't feel.

 

To start off with, don't.

Don't give up. I nearly did, several times actually, and look what has happened because I am still here.

This is going to sound like some sort of spiritual therapist, but you are never given anything that you cannot handle somehow. Maybe you can't do it alone, maybe you're going to be in this place for a very long time, but you will be able to somehow.

This is a total clichè, but if its not ok, then its not the end. I've come to realize that your life might really suck right now, and it may seem like it is the end, but its not.

This is going to take alot of work to get through, but you will be able to do it.

(*hug*)

 

Hey Fred, I really don't think that you should commit suicide. It's simply never the answer and it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem...I mean, if you commit suicide now, you never know what you're going to miss in the future. You might miss meeting the love of your life. You might miss winning a million dollars. You might miss out on world peace and equality for all.

I know it's a strange way to view it, but I think every other way of saying no to suicide has been said before on this site. Basically what I'm saying is that: You'll never know what the future holds and what you'll miss out on if you did it.

I really hope you get through this rough time in your life, cos there's so much good in you...Like, I know you said you've turned into a bad person, but I've not seen that. And your work on Full Spectrum is admirable

Hang in there

 

Fred.

Seriously. What have we talked about?

Didn't I say - just gotta ride it out?

Okay - your life sucks. You think you're an arse. You feel death is the only answer. You're lonely. You tried therapy. Nothing seems to work.

Part of that - I think - stems from the way you see yourself. You are always very hard on yourself, and your life is not going to change unless you learn to love yourself. And I know it's hard to do that. I really do.

Giving up is not an option. Get that one off the cards right now. I mean it. It's not worth it and you'll feel worse if - no WHEN - you don't succeed.
You're what? 19? and you're giving up now?

Okay - so you're an arse to people. BIG DEAL. Everyone has their shit days/weeks/months and it just so happens that you're feeling bad and you're taking it out on other people. Wow. Funny that - I do the same thing when I'm depressed as well.

Look Fred - people are not going to hate you if you have a bad day. They're not going to hate you if you have a nasty moment with them. They are not going to hate you if you're depressed. I don't hate you. I'm just very pragmatic and blunt. You know that. I'm not here to tell you everything will be peachy and work out just fine. Life isn't like that.

But life is not worth giving up on either.
So don't you bloody dare give up.

Go back to your therapist. Keep your chin up at all times if possible. DON'T hurt yourself and don't try to off yourself. Just hang in there.

 

Fred... (*hug*) Don't give up. Please. I've seen you around and you are a good person. Ok so you talk shit and push people away, well don't we all do that sometimes. I've pushed people away and felt like I can't talk about my feelings, but the simple fact is, you CAN talk and have reached out by making this thread.

I'm sure your friends don't hate you or find you annoying, they might be really worried about you and might appreciate knowing what's going on. Perhaps they can help you, you never know until you've tried.

I'm sorry I can't really help much, I'm not good at the whole advice thing, but please, please listen to the others, they know what they're talking about.

 

Fred...

Please please PLEASE don't give up, everyone who's posted here is right, I don't think I can add anymore to what they've said, except that you most certainly aren't a bad person; everybody has bad points in their life and sometimes take it out on others. Just...don't immediately write off talking to your friends - like Asteroid said, you need to give them a chance to really get to know you. You've got your whole life ahead of you, I know it seems like there's no way out at the moment, but I promise you, things will change. I mean...it starts with little things, like what Tess mentioned about learning to like and love yourself; I think once you can do that, your outlook will almost definitely begin to improve.

I wish I could say more, but 1. it's already been said, and 2. I'm quite bad at this sort of thing anyway. Just know that I care, I really do. I know that sometimes it seems like I have better things to do, but you know you can always talk to me, right?

(*hug*)

 

Okay Fred, here we go. Complete honesty, because people lying to you isn't going to help you.
So, you think you're an arse? Aren't we all, really? Everyone has bad patches. and do you know what, this post shows that you aren't an arse. Because if you were, you wouldn't be feeling like this, would you? You wouldn't be caring if you'd upset people, you just wouldn't care.
Therefore, Fred = Good person.
There's not one person on this site who thinks you're a bad person.
So what if you're going through a bad patch, so what if you're a little tense at the moment, so am I. These things happen. But no matter what, we're always here to catch you when you fall down.
Please don't give up Fred.
You've got us all behind you, whether you like it or not, I promise

 

we all like you(*hug*)
dont commite suicide its not worth it you cant just get your life back. and if you are a say collage or university you cant talk to like a school teacher that can help! but dont do it its not worth it every one on EC likes you. noone can HATE somone they can only dislike them but as i said noone dislikes you!!!!!!!!(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

Fred, Overcoming an addiction can seem to be the most hopeless and impossible thing in the world. But it IS possible. If you're sincerely interested in working on it, let me know, and maybe I can help - even if from a distance.

 

Ok, first and formost this must be done. [gives you a HUGEEE hug]
Now onto my 2c.

You're not an arse or a bastard. You're an amazingly talented person who has a lot to give the world.

I've been the same (and my doctor actually thinks I'm depressed) for quite some time now, but please don't do anything to yourself. I overdosed on medication and although I didn't end up in hospital, I felt very sick, and which made me realise that there's no point in killing myself over other people.

Has there been any major event to trigger these feelings? Anything happen over a long period of time? My problem has been 16 years of bullying and abuse finally catching up with me and finally taking its toll.

But like I said before, you're amazingly gifted and intelligent. You shouldn't just throw it away. [huggles]

Happy birthday for yesterday by the way.

 

Fred - you annoy the crap out of me.

I know it has been a long time since we chatted - I just got sick of your 'terminal negativity'.

OK - I will accept that you are in a country that is more homophobic than many -and has less opportunities than a lot of others. BUT - you are a good student, capable of doing well and moving away from where you are now.

OK - so why don't you concentrate your efforts on saying "I can" rather than continually bleating "I can't" to everyone?

You are bright and talented - the very fact that Full Spectrum exists is testimony to that. So WHY can you not accept that fact - and USE it as motivation to work toward a better future? You COULD do it. Why do you keep insisting you can't?

The only person that can make your future better is YOU.

Do it.(*hug*)

 

^ Because, when you are depressed,... ^

...It starts to become the only thing you can see. Sucidal thoughts become everything and you can't look at any single thing without seeing your failure. Being depressed just takes over so much of your life that you can no longer think rationally. You cannot see the amazing things that you have going for you, many still cannot see them if they slap you in the face. Your everything becomes something that society outcasts which only makes it worse. You become such a different person than you truly are. Some people do resort to killing themselves because it becomes everything, but others seek for help becaue they see what they have become, or have been slapped in the face with it.

Even though I don't know you very well, Fred, I would fly to Uraguay at the drop of the proverbial hat to hep you if I could.

(*hug*)

 

I just want to echo what everyone has said here, and add a few things:

- Look at all that you've achieved here. Would this forum be as good without you? No. Would it be as good? No. Even here, you've had a big and positive influence.

- I know how you can feel if other people are happy around you and you aren't. I've had that feeling many times, and I know it's frustrating but you just need to say Fuck that and shove those negative thoughts aside. Their life is their life (and by the way, they probably have as many problems as anyone, like we all do). What you need to do is concentrate on YOURS and not compare yourself.

- Again, I know how negative thoughts can be a vicious circle, but you just have to cut that crap at some point and start over. All these negative views you have are all in your head. Flush them.

- The future is full of beautiful, unexpected things, both in your personal life and in the world. If I had taken my life life three years, there are so many experiences, good and bad, that I would've missed; today, it just seems so incredible. Even if the present is gloomy, the future holds wonderful things.

If nothing else right now, you have a huge community of people that care for you. Stay strong.

 

Fred !! Why not try : " Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life "

"You Can't Change The Past"

Or .. I think that you killing yourself is a really stupid thing to do.

 

Listen, I have been in your shoes with suicide twice before; I have gotten to the point of trying to kill myself. I was rushed to the hospital the first time (called 911 after I did it), and I had like 10 policemen and firefighters in my house all around me asking me questions, and finally the ambulance arrived, and they sent me to the emergency room; waited 6 hours, and they told me that it's a good idea to stay overnight for test results to come back, while having to eat charcoal.

The 2nd time was actually talking to a fellow EC member (Midnight Angel), and I was in general a wreck, and I started overdosing, and Derek (MidAn) tried to stop me, and I did.

Listen, I know what you're going through, and while it may seems like a good solution at the moment, it is not. You must realize how little life you've lived so far, and how you will be ok. You are a brilliant person, but you tend to look at the down side of life rather than the upside. And remember, you are a really nice guy and a good person, don't let yourself think different :/ .

Medication can be a good thing; w/o my medication, I would be a mental case . You are the key to your inner self, and you must remember that .

You are going to be ok <3 . You must remember that...just don't make a permanent solution to a temporary situation .

Espero que estes mejor, y siempre estoy listo para escuchar . Puedes hacer un pm y pedir mi MSN o AIM si lo quieres.

 

True when we struggle, we think there is no point to go on. Depression is imbalance of chemical in brain and medication helps to balance for some it is necessary. here is one suggestion to improve your mood that I started doing and at first sounded silly but at the time I needed it, it works: Think of a moment that you were the happiest, any moment, any year, and the moment you felt safe and when everything seemed beautiful. The moments that you wanted to last forever. than write it down. keep reading it and remembering it. Also, I suggest you go back to your theorpist and talk to her/him. EC is here for you and we will all listen to you. Life is worth exploring and we all have days that we are mean to others that's why we appoligize right and people do understand. come and tell us if you are ok and anything else that you want to share with us. we are here for each other.

 

I really thing you shouldn't do this.

So you are a bitch lately, WHATS THE BIG PROBLEM? everyone is a bitch sometimes, we all have our days / months. I think that if you say sorry, or really regret it, its proof that it's not your intention to be mean but the depression talking.

You should not hurt yourself, What's the point in it? What do you win with that?

So, if friends are all gone and stuff, what about all this ppl who posted above?

You say you can't acomplish anything by yourself. What do you tell me about Full Spectrum? Its a wonderful promising project, almost done all by yourself.

Creo que estás siendo muy duro contigo mismo, no dudas en ver cualquier pequeño error que cometes, no te valoras lo suficiente. Observate a ti mismo, cuantas personas en tu país han logrado llegar hasta donde has llegado tú?

No voy a decir que te conosco, porque no es verdad. Pero lo poco que he visto de ti y lo que la maravillosa gente de este lugar dice de ti, puedo decir que eres una persona magnífica. No te puedes hacer esto a ti mismo, recuerda que (como dicen en mi país, México) primero estás tú, luego tú y al final tú.