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I'm so scared to come out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Coldconserve, Apr 17, 2015.

  1. Coldconserve

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I'm so scared to come out but so sick of being in the closet. I feel depressed and tired all the time, and sometimes I just lie and cry to myself because I hate the way Im so afraid to be me. I can't concentrate on school work, and I feel so lonely all the time. My friends all say they don't have a problem with gay people, but I feel like if I actually came out it wouldn't be the same. We're all very close and I just think they'd be freaked out. There's also this one openly gay guy in our year and they all hate him, saying he's such a fucking faggot and stuff like that. He's very flamboyant so maybe that gets on their nerves, but it makes me so sad. As for my parents, they say they don't care, but whenever LGBT comes up at home they both act (albeit subconsciously) very homophobically. Like my mum will say "I just can't imagine him kissing another man it's just eugh." And my dad will say "eugh oh no that's just not nice I don't want to see that" if we're watching a film and there's male nudity in it or something. It makes me so upset because I know they're not trying to hurt me but they're both rejecting me without even knowing. It's almost worse because I know if I come out they'll say they're fine when obviously they have a problem with it, and then they're just lying to me. Also, within my wider circle of friends it's quite common to act quite "gay". Like everyone sort of messes around and kisses each other at parties and cuddles up on the sofa, and it makes me so sad. And it's so stupid because I really like this one guy and I always try and get close to him and it's just pathetic. It's some stupid temporary fantasy and I do it every time. I hate that I'm so scared to come out. I'm so scared to be me and I fucking hate myself for it. So many other people can do it and all I do is cry about it.
     
  2. NathanielB13

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Birmingham,England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi Coldconserve,
    I relate to what you are going through, as a teenager myself. School and family is probabley the whole reason why I haven't fully come-out.
    Also don't worry about coming out to friends, they sound supportive and usualley people get annoyed at the more flampoyant part of the LGBT community.
    With your family, most don't get used to the idea of homosexuality but at least they don't sound against it. I'm sure they'd you and so what if they get grossed out by kissing the same sex? Do you also have any other siblings you could come out to as I came out to my brother and it really helped as I knew I had support.
    Finally, if it's making you this miserable talk to someone about it like a school counciller or something.
     
  3. Rapha Lover

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    São Paulo
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    You need coming out to someone!
    You need a support from someone who is closet to you. You're living a lie! I'm coming out just to 3 people that is my best friends and I can a great support from them and is so awesome! You need love yourself at first time and stop call all theses negatives words to yourself.
    You need understand that after you coming out for complete to your family and your friends will have a lot of possible reactions. Maybe they accepted and respect, maybe not, maybe one of them will aceppted or reject..anyway..
    In my opnion, the family support is the most important! And if your friends really like you, will accepted you but if this don't happen...don't care and live your life! And don't worried about LGBT stereotypes! Just be yourself!

    :slight_smile: