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What should i do and what would you do?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by hoping, Nov 20, 2008.

  1. hoping

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    Ok so mums bf doesnt yet know im gay and the thing is he is incredibly homophobic i mean he was walking in the street a few months back and there was these 2 teenage guys and they were probably 15 or 16 and he yelled out for no reason '' how long you been sucking your mates cock'' and he thought that was so funny.
    I know the moment i come out he will taunt me all the time and be evil like he always is and i know when i get a bf that he wont let my guy anywhere near the house cause on sunday he is moving in and taking everything over, so until i get the good paying job i apllied for i cant move out and even then not till after i get my jaw operation.
    He is just like a radical right wing person who last night blew up cause someone my family knows reads a paper he deems to be left wing.
    So my question is what should i do about this and what would you do if this happened and has it happene to any of you?
     
  2. Are there any real advantages to coming out to him before you move out?

    If not, then what's the harm in keeping a secret for a little bit longer?
     
  3. waitingsucks

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    He sounds like (sorry, for want of a better word) a real jerk, perhaps he doesn't realise the impact that his actions have on those around him (such as abusing people from across the street)

    unfortunately we all know people like that and if your mum likes him then there's probably no short term solution to this. I think you should wait till your more independent (moved out) before you tell him. And if he doesn't accept you and teases you about it, than frankly he doesn't deserve to be part of your life, hopefully you can find a way to discuss it with your mum before you tell him, so she can prepare him for the news and tell him your concerns about being ridiculed
     
  4. s5m1

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    Hav you considered talking to your dad about the situation? One of your other posts said he was very accepting when you came out to him? Is living with your dad, rather than your mom and her boyfriend, an option?
     
  5. hoping

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    God no i cant stand my father he would drive me insane with his constent crap, i mean yeah he accepted me being gay but that doesnt make up for years of crap
     
  6. EM68

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    I would wait until you move out if you ever decide to come out to him. From what you have said today and before, this guys is an intolerant jerk who frankly does not deserve to know anything about you.I would just stick to you goals and do what you can to move out.
     
  7. Jim1454

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    Just keep it to yourself. In fact, maybe make a game of it. See how completely insensitive you can be right along with him. Sounds like you can't beat him, so join him - but you'll actually be mocking him the whole time. I can't think of another way of surviving the next little while. Just consider it that - a survival technique. (I'm sure the guy pictured in your avatar has some other survial techniques of his own! :icon_wink)