I think I just lost the only thing that still allowed me to tell myself I'm still a Christian and still love God. I was raised Lutheran, and now all of the sudden I find out that Luther disagreed with freewill and believed predestination. Among other things. I was confirmed in the Lutheran church and said that I believed the church doctrines. Now I'm not sure I even have that. I split from the church because I'm gay and they wouldn't let me stay. I split from the religion because they told me I was unworthy of being saved. And now, the only thing I had left to cling to was the fact that I was confirmed and believed in God. I think God left me a long time ago and I've just been holding onto childhood dreams. And now reality has hit me upside the head and I'm stuck. No, more like pinned under the train that just ran me over. And I know that right now I'm uber emtional because of PMS, but still...I didn't need this. Not today, not this week, hell not this year. I've been through enough.
I'm not trying to disrespect your religion at all, because i am...or at least was a christian. I still believe in God and i still say, he will accept you for who you are. He made you this way. He knew you would end up like this. So if he didn't want homosexuals in his world then we just wouldn't exist. But the fact is we do exist. So he clearly has us in his plan somewhere. Perhaps who we decide to love doesn't bother him. As long as we believe in him and what he is all about . Anyways thats just what i believe. If i go to hell for living my life how i want then so be it. I say god gave us free will. I hope he is proud of who we are
well u can still believe in gow without being in an organized religion most churchs believe they know everything but honestly anyone who can say how feel is wrong does not know the meaning of god god is love and he will exapt even if u are gay PS)there is nothing sinfull about it is who u are
God created you the way you are in order to give you unique and personal opportunities in life. I believe that "predestination" is a largely misunderstood concept and has been very badly explained by many Lutherans and others. An eternal, omnipresent, omniscient God will know your reaction and response, without forcing that response on you. If predestination is the way some Lutherans explain it, there is no need for evangelism or Church, because those who have been predestined to be saved will be saved, those who have been predestined to burn in hell will burn in hell. Hence, there is no point or value in anything they do. The message that God gives, through Jesus Christ is one of redemption and forgiveness, freely given. He forgives you for the mistakes you made, based on the very clear understanding that there is nothing you can do to earn his acceptance, it is freely offered to you. In exchange, he asks that you forgive those that hurt you in the same manner. He has given you very particular and peculiar gifts, some of these are directly related to your sexuality, others are related to other traits of your character, your personality, your environment, your upbringing... He would like you to use those gifts in order to fulfil the primary mission that he gave us, right in the beginning of Genesis: tend the garden. The purpose of the Abrahamic faiths is to tend the garden, the creation. Take care of the world, of the environment, of the people who inhabit it. It is not "pie in the sky when you die", it is not attending rituals on a weekly basis. This is done through the understanding that you and I have made mistakes, have hurt people, have done things we ought not to have done, have not done what we should have done. OK. That's the past. Now, stop feeling guilty, stop blaming people, move on and use your experience to do something positive.
*Big Hugs* I have an idea of what you're going through. I was raised and confirmed in the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod (conservative, anti-gay), and I used to really believe the doctrine. Something that I, unfortunately, discovered the hard way, though, is that the teachings left me completely unprepared to deal with real life challenges. So, when my life fell apart in 2004, it was a devastating revelation that the god I had counted on and worshipped was nowhere to be found, and that turned out to be the final straw. I loaded up a shotgun at my parents' house and was headed to the downstairs bathroom to finish it. My dog was sleeping in the hallway, and as I stepped over him, I had a moment of lucidity just long enough to stop me in my tracks. I wound up drifting for a couple years spiritually as I tried to figure things out. And it sounds like that's where you are at now. It's hard to do, but I think it's time for you to start your own spiritual quest and figure out the path through the Universe that is appropriate for you. You are an individual, a worthy individual with your own needs, your own hopes, your own talents, your own desires, and your own experiences, and that's something that the church can NEVER account for. Some might happen to be well-suited for the Lutheran path or the Catholic path or whatever, but many are not. I would not presume to tell you which way to go, because you are a unique individual, and my path (the easiest way to describe it is somewhere between Agnostic, Atheist, and Pantheist) is not necessarily the right path for you. However, I would advise that you start seeking the path that's right for you. Do you "need" gods or dieties in your life? Are you comfortable with the end just being a long dirt-nap? Do you think you'll come back for another shot if you don't fuck this one up? Do you think there's something more than just what we can see? There are many questions with many answers. I'm not going to say that it's an easy journey, but from what you've written, it sounds like it is time for yours to begin. Trying to desperately cling to the sands of a belief that are coursing through your fingers is only going to cause you more pain. If there's anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to PM me or find me here. (*hug*)
