How to Come out to Parents

It's normal to feel nervous, even when you know the reaction is likely going to be fine. After all, it is a little bit of an awkward conversation to have with a parent. You're basically announcing your sexual preferences, which by itself is a little bit awkward, especially since homosexuality is still considered by many to be a taboo. As well, you care about what your parents think more than you do friends. It sucks if your friend rejects you, but you can make new friends. You can't exactly get a new mom or dad if they reject you, so even the slightest idea that it could go poorly is really nerve-wracking.

I think that how you come out to them should be based on how comfortable you are with them, and what your intentions are. When I came out to my dad and sister? I just wanted to tell them and get it over with. Telling my mother was a means for me of becoming honest and sort of taking a big new step in being out and proud about myself. With my dad and sister I texted them, but my mother I was determined to tell her to her face. I asked her to go on a walk with me, and after being a nervous mess, I finally just spit it out and she took it alright.

I think that you have a lot of options as far as coming out. Know that you don't have to sit them down and tell them that way. Sometimes it feels really confrontational, and as a person who is not confrontational, I could never just sit them down across from me and tell them that way.

One place to start is just to determine if you want to say it out loud to them. If you don't, then a written means is just as good. Saying it out loud to them, you can sit them down, you can take them out for a walk, you can call them on the phone, etc. Written it could be a letter, an email, a text, a card, or really anything else you can think of. As far as when to do it, I think that really just depends on you. My only recommendation is to just avoid times that they may be busy or stressed out. You want them relaxed to receive the news, in case it comes as a bit of a shock. But if they're as laid back as you suggest, then I wouldn't worry too much.

They might even know already. You never know. Good luck.

 

I came out to my parents in a letter.

I first came out as lesbian, cut my hair short and everything. Only to realize one year down the line that I'm actually bisexual. I put off coming out again until recently. I typed out another letter, but didn't have the guts to give it to them. They are extremely homophobic, so the first coming out didn't go very well, at all. I finally tore up the second letter, but didn't want to chuck it in the bin just yet, hoping that my mom will come across it. I partially hid it under my bedside lamp. And she did find it and read it. She talked to me about it, but was much calmer than the previous time, as I've explained the situation/my feelings more clearly. She said that she accepts it but still doesn't condone it, but I must do whatever I want to do. I'm still not sure if that was a good or bad thing but at least we didn't fight like we did the first time.

So there is an inkling of hope there.

Ever since I was able to read and write, I've been writing them letters when something was bothering me, or when I am going to make a big decision in my life. Never been good with face-to-face discussions about serious things. It may not be for everyone, but I think it's something you could possibly look into.

Good luck, I hope things will go well for you! (*hug*)

 

I can tell you that my dad wasn't the happiest finding out on Facebook when everyone else did. Mainly because I'm living with him at the moment, and we've always been able to talk. But I explained that because so many of my Facebook friends are people I went to combat with, which makes them extended family anyways, that it was just easier to tell everyone at once. He kind of understood my reasoning after that

 

I just told my dad about a month ago, that right now I only have feelings for men only, and they may have been repressing them.

He seems to think its just a "phase" and I will probably be straight again soon, still he doesn't know about my 'experimenting', the playing around I did with other men at my boarding school and with a friend, so to him he thinks I've only had feelings for women, so the phase thing makes sense to him, he might be in-denial? (Even though he says he is happy whatever sexuality I am)

Anyway, no problems caused by it, and me and him are aware and comfortable that I am unsure about my sexuality, however the difference is I think my homosexuality is more than a phase, but anyway I'll just see what happens

And good luck! *hugs* I'm here for you