Arrrgh the people of my generation. I don't have many friends, and then ones I do have I'm very close to. One of my best friends is quite a bit older than me and I really want to come out to him. The only trouble is I think hes quite homophobic from what I've managed to glean from him and I'm really concerned that he will turn his back on me. I really want to come fully out to everybody sometime soon, but I want to do it a way to not lose most my friends. Any ideas how I can do this?
All you can do is be honest with him; he will decide whether his prejudice or your friendship is more important to him. Maybe he will become less prejudiced; you never know until you try. If you lose him because of your true sexuality, you are better off without him.
The best approach is to be completely honest with your friend. I have come out to a close 'friend' who just happened to be a trans-phobic jerk. But after reflecting on the whole situation, I soon realized that I did not need someone like him in my life and I am way better off without him in my life. What ever you decide to do I wish you nothing but the best
I think my problem is that I don't blame him for been homophobic, its the way people were brought up. The media and your parents were always deriding homosexual people when we were kids, hell when he was a kid it was still illegal to be gay here! I'm going to have to tell him sooner or later, I suppose if he cant accept it then I will just have to do without him.
Nobody gets a pass from me for being homophobic today, even if it was OK to lynch queers where they lived when they were growing up. I DO blame someone for continuing to be homophobic today, and if they want to be vocal and annoying about it, then I am not going to continue to treat them as friends, and you shouldn't either.
I've seen and heard stories where homophobic parents changed because of the love they had for their child. The same applies to friends. If he is really your friend he may be able to challenge his own preconceptions. If you do come out to him there might be an awkward period, but if he comes around he is truly your friend. If he doesn't, he was never your friend. It's a difficult and polarizing conundrum! (*hug*)
Chances are that if you're going to lose friends, and I have, for a variety of reasons, you were meant to lose these friends anyway. It may not feel good and may get you down, but you can look at it as "it has run its course" or "it was never meant to be" ... or both. I think you'll be fine. There's always a "healing process."
The best thing to do is to be honest with him. If he turns his back, that shows he was a never a friend in the first place. If he does not, it'll bring you happiness. If he does turn his back, it will bring you experience. Look at it that way
