My mother is very religious and she thinks that everyone that is not heterosexual is basically traumatized or has had bad experiences with the opposite sex. And to her transgender people are the same as homosexuals and just confused or suffering from a mental disorder. As we know that is not the case. Any advuce as to how I can come out to her or whether I should do it at all?
You might look up a brochure called "doh-transgender-experiences.pdf" . Only thing I would disagree with is page 7, where they state stress, instead many experience relief. It states that being trans has biological connections, to do with development before birth which influences the sense of self. So its not a light hearted decision but how they feel, and there are many feeling this way. Its nobodys fault, neither theirs nor that of their upbringing. It explains some of the feelings transgender people have. And, well, its people like others... with cravings and needs like everybody esle... I personally also like the twin comparison... you basically will be like your male/female twin, with the same sense of humour etc... Well concerning religion, imo it should be about love ... Well since you know them best its up to you what you say, and if... you might consider if you are dependent on them. You might think about showing the brochure, its for the british national health service, a very reputable source. Her knowing and that of parts of the media is simply outdated, and even the media is changing now. Talking in a relaxed manner might help... remaining calm and stating facts and a few needs. One possibility would be to sit them down and talk to them... over a cup of tea... and really talk about it... staying in a relaxed tone, not making reproaches but stating your opinion... just talking and asking... imo the NHS brochure might help... saying its biological... talking sensibly but saying what you feel... and maybe they need some time to really understand... they might also talk about their fears... for example what the neighbors might say... (there are many trans people now so more and more people get used to it slowly...) that they had some fixed ideas about your future... well its all possible regardless... and it might take them some time to completely grasp it... some people come out in a letter and show some material like vids later... there are a few letter of others on the internet... You might think about getting a good gender therapist, and talking it through with them... you might ask at plannedparenthood, a lgbt center, at college, or look for a gender therapist... if they are not supportive you might look for another... another option might be to say you want counseling, for emotional issues, and look for someone who has gender on their list... there are even online conselors... you might ask if they can write a referral for hrt, and how long it usually takes... unless you want to go the informed consent route... if its connected with depression it might be covered. And you might think about support groups, maybe at lgbt centers.
