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Telling my boyfriend

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Guitarscars2000, Apr 23, 2015.

  1. Guitarscars2000

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    Help, I'm a lesbian but I need to break up with my boyfriend but I don't want to hurt him. My friends know and they're saying I need to break up with him asap so I don't lead him on but He's so nice and doesn't deserve this. I'm also afraid to tell him I'm gay because he may tell my sisters and then they tell my parents but I don't want that to happen. I'm scared to talk to him face to face but I fear any other way would be cruel. Please help!
     
  2. JohnX

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    There's no way he's not gonna get hurt when you break up with him. You're friends are right tho. The sooner you break up with him, the better. If you can't tell him the reason you're breaking up with him is because you're lesbian, tell him that you have to find yourself because lately you're getting lost and confused. But if you have the guts to tell him you're gay, why not tell him? Maybe he'll understand.
     
  3. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    You don't have to tell him the actual reason. Just tell him you're not attracted to him anymore (technically still honest) and need time apart.
     
  4. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

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    Even though he may be hurt by it, he'd probably want to know. He woudn't want you staying in a relationship with him just because you don't want to hurt his feelings. It's one of those things that's really hard to do, but you really should and if you just tell yourself alright, I'm gunna do this today and just do it, you'll feel so much better afterwards and it'll be worth it. Best of luck!
     
  5. Kaiser

    Kaiser Guest

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    I'll break this down in a simple manner:

    I agree that you do need to break up with him, if you are sure you're not attracted to him anymore. Find a place where you two can talk, and do that. Be honest and as respectful as you can be. You don't have to say you're a lesbian, but you should tell him it's because you've lost that spark.

    If he pushes for you to give it another go, tell him, you need time alone to figure it out. If he pushes beyond that, tell him, he isn't being considerate of your feelings, and is forcing you to stay in something. If it goes beyond this, well, you suddenly have a reason to break up with him -- he's being an asshole.

    You mentioned being worried about your boyfriend, possibly, telling your sisters about your sexual orientation. This is an easy fix:

    Assuming you do break up and, for whatever reason, he decides to go bad mouth you to others. All you have to do is say, "He's just mad, and that's why he's saying this."

    Simple enough. Yes, I suppose technically you're lying, but in matters of sexual orientation, you need to be ready and comfortable to share or confirm that, and being forced out is not exactly ideal. Really, breaking up with him, is kind of a blessing, because it makes sense from a logical standpoint as to why he'd say something "as crazy as I'm gay".