So I'm pretty convinced I'm gay. I can definitely accept that and it's become part of my personality somehow. Nobody but one distant friend knows that I'm gay. I live in a highly homophobic area where people aren't open to "new" ideas such as being gay. That's one of the reasons why I haven't come out yet but it's really starting to make me feel depressed. There's this guy from my programming class whom I really like but I'm not sure how to come out to him. He's the same age as me and we barely interact, partly because neither of us are sociable. I'm not sure if he's gay so I need to make sure he is to avoid embarrassing myself in front of everyone. He gets attention from girls but it seems like he gets bored of them pretty quickly. He seems to prefer the company of girls although I've seen him talking to guys too. We play WoW together sometimes and he's way more advanced in the game than me; he helped me gear up and gave me useful tips. When we play we usually use a mic to communicate. One day he sent me a Facebook message asking me for the source code of a program I posted years ago (which tells me he's been looking at my timeline/photos). I don't think he has any reason to be interested in me because I'm not that great honestly. He's also acting weird sometimes. We went on a trip to another town and he sat alone in the bus although several people offered to sit next to him. He's usually quiet and I get the feeling he either has a secret that he keeps away from everyone or has problems with his family. He seems to have anger issues and was violent to this guy the other day. He's definitely more down-to-earth than most of the guys in my town though, and a lot more mature. So I'm not sure how to confess my feelings to him considering: 1) We barely interact, and 2) The circumstances I am in makes it difficult for me to come out publicly Basically my only choice is to tell him I'm gay but that can backfire if he decides to tell anyone else or if he turns out to be straight. I'm kind of puzzled by his behavior so I'm still trying to figure out whether he's gay or not, but coming out in the public is NOT an option because of the hate I'll get. I'd like some advice from you guys so I can make the right decision. Thanks!
I was in the exact same situation - except I had only told a few close friends that I liked a guy. Considering coming out isn't an option, try dropping subtle hints and see how he responds? Also, you mentioned he was down to earth and mature - maybe being direct with him is the best option. Oh, and good luck! - Ebi
If you are in any danger, do nothing. Always be safe; always test the waters. Bring up an LGBT issue around him, and see how he reacts. There is no rush - take it slow.
Simply try to be friendly with him and get a better friendship going. Later on you can ask him if he is going out with anyone on dates, and if so what kind of things he likes to do. You don't have to jump right into sexuality issues right away to find out if the two of you are compatible in terms of other things you like to do. As he gets more comfortable with you and begins to think of you as a friend he can talk about things with, he should end up dropping clues about how he feels about hanging with you and what his interests are.
