how to stay out of the closet?

Find the local gay support groups at your school, if there are any where you live, and try to meet some people there who are visibly out to build a circle of friends. There are also usually at least one "gay" or gay friendly night club in most college towns, where people who are interested in meeting other gay men hang out. Then there are online resources, and on-phone resources such as you-know-what to help you find the gay guy in the room. You can help identify yourself with rainbow jewelry and the way you dress if you want to be visibly out there, to make it easier for other gay men to find and approach you; you don't have to be the only side of the table that is looking; if they approach you, they aren't rejecting you, they are inviting you; if they don't approach you will never know that you were "rejected", so don't worry about it; thousands of people "reject" us every day as they walk by silently; you only need to meet the one who doesn't.

You don't have to "flaunt" your sexuality; you just have to subtly identify yourself by the way you look, the places you go, the things you do. Anyone who is interested can figure the rest out; you have closed the closet door behind you, so there is no reason you should feel that you are still in it. Considering that Utah isn't exactly San Francisco, just doing these basic things should make you feel out "enough" for someone to identify you as interested.

 

I feel like I can sort of relate to what you're saying here since I'm out to a few people and desperately wanting back in. Anyway the thing that stuck out to me was when you said you didn't want to "flaunt" your sexuality but when males talk about attractive females or females talk about attractive males no one accuses them of flaunting their sexuality. I just really wanted to say that and I'm not saying you should or have to mention when you think a guy is cute.