It has now been over two months since I last spoke to a friend of mine after we had a falling out. I have tried to talk to him since, and even had a friend drop hints that he should, but he can be very stubborn and we reamin not talking to each other. At the time when we fell out I had an insane crush on him but that has gone, or at least is no way near as strong as it was. I've realised that his stupid jokes, him telling me of the random goings on in his life and most importantly him being there for me, as he was the first person I came out to and was completely supportive. I’m just kind of stumped as to finding a way to talk to him about all this, so we can clear the air and get back the friendship without all the awkwardness. :help:
If you've tried talking to him a few times, and he's not biting, then he may simply feel the relationship is beyond repair. And the fact that feel "Well, the crush isn't as bad as it used to be" might be evidence towards that. All you can do is lay your cards on the table. "I'm sorry we had a falling out, and I'd like to still be friends with you, if at all possible." If he snubs that, then there's your answer. Lex
Try a simple direct approach. "Hey. I've had some time to think about what happened between us, and I want to clear the air. I regret what happened and don't think it was worth ending our friendship." Good luck!(&&&)
You know he's not been very good to you, and has ignored you and everything. Send him a letter That seems to be the only method of communication. Or accidentally on purpose bump into him. You need to stop trying to go through friends because it's not working for some reason.
This is werid. I'm in the same situation although I'm not too keen on getting with my friend. She too was the first person I came out to (well she kinda opened my eyes to it) But in all honesty just talk to him. Your going to be the more mature person doing that. Also it takes time. Time heals and time damages its a double edged sword but I think it can work out in your favour. Good luck to you man.
Something similar happened to me, but it was with a girl. What I did, was, I apologized to her, because my confession caused her a lot of stress and heartache. Next, I wrote her a Myspace message (it can be a letter, or you can have courage and say it to his face), that explained everything. It said stuff like "I dont' like you anymore, let's move on, be friends again, etc." After that, I started talking to her and texting her. We recently worked together at school and it was one of the most easy-going unawkward conversations I've had in my life. So, just act natural after you do steps one and two. You have to let him know where you stand or else he's going to try and read your mind. Unless he can do such a thing, I don't think the strategy of having him read your mind will work. Apologize once, state where you stand once, and then act natural. If he's a true friend, he'll follow suit and act like nothing happened. I suggest writing him a letter, giving it to him, and watching him read it. You can't argue with words on paper.
I think that if people were ever friends in the first place, neither really want to fall out, but it can take a lot of time, and a lot of pride swallowing after the feelings of anger etc have dulled before the friendship can repair. best approach is to be approachable (lawl) if you let them know some how (letter/facebook) that you are sorry, and whenever you are ready you would like to talk about it, and mend the friendship. if they reject that/ignore it, then it is too soon. Give it a significant amount of time (so you don't become annoying) then try again. rinse and repeat. eventually i believe you'll get through, and if you don't, by the time you've reached that point you'll have the closure of 'at least I tried, hard' and will probably stop caring about them
Thanks guys, I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to do this. I just know I have to do something about it sooner rather than later. Care to explain Louise?
some people are just verrrry stubborn and need more time. im one of those people sadly, when i fall out with someone over something thats upset or angered me strongly, it takes me MONTHS to get over it if i feel ive been done wrong. i fell out with my mum for over 8 months last year, and my sister for about 6 months of this year. and both times they had to make the first move, with my mum the first time she tried was over 8 months later, we didnt speak a word during, but we made up when she apologised. in my sisters case she tried and tried, and for months i was having none of it cause i was still really angry with her, but time is a big healer ive found, even though for me it takes a while, time does heal things and you care less as time passes. was the falling out you and your friend had a big deal/serious? who was at fault? he may just need some breathing space. once he's not mad, he will make the first move or accept when you do...when i fell out with a friend a few years back, she wrote me a letter about how much i meant to her and how sorry she was, and that kind of melted my heart and made me cry and all the anger i felt went, so sometimes writing how you feel can help repair damage to a friendship. time apart to reflect helps too.
