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how important is coming out, and what should I be prepared for?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by 447, Apr 25, 2015.

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  1. 447

    447
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    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm just wondering what to say and what to tell people. How important is it that I'm out? I feel like I shouldn't keep it a secret forever, but I'm afraid. I've always been quite tongue tied when it comes to my sexuality.
     
    #1 447, Apr 25, 2015
  2. Jax12

    Jax12
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    Location:
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    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This is where I'm at right now. I'm thinking that I'll tell them when I feel like the time is right.

    It's harder for me because I have SAD. I always thinking people are looking at me. It's a struggle.

    I don't think I'll tel them that I'm gay, I'll just tell them that I'm into guys and not girls. Not necessarily true but explaining it to them would make it more harder for them to accept.
     
    #2 Jax12, Apr 25, 2015
  3. guitar

    guitar
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    For me it was very important. It allowed me to open up to those close to me about an aspect of my life I'd been hiding in silence for years. Plus it's very difficult to date & plan anything long term being in the closet.

    Be prepared to be emotionally exhausted when you come out. Be ready for massive butterflies in your stomach and psyching yourself up before it happens. Hope for the best ("that's great your gay, I still love you") but prepare for the worst. It can destroy some relationships but make others stronger. My mom & I have never been closer. The same thing with several friends. Other friends have backed off and aren't really comfortable.
     
    #3 guitar, Apr 25, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2015
  4. 447

    447
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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I have the advantage of having a socially abnormal childhood, I have no friends.

    I was raised is a very abnormal way and I rarely had social interaction with other people. But my mother is terrifying and a long long long time ago I promised her I'd never be gay. (I didn't even know what being gay was..if I'd have known it meant being with a guy/being sexually attracted to them, I wouldn't have promised that. Because ever since I was young there was this feeling that I really liked and then I figured out that that feeling was what we call sexual and romantic attraction to men aka gay)


    So I have no friends to lose, and my brother kinda knows. He's nice, not excited about it but it's okay with me. He would never make fun of me or tell my parents. He just wonders how I could be in to guys and finds it odd. It is what it is.


    I'm utterly terrified of my mother through.
     
    #4 447, Apr 25, 2015
  5. nohalos

    nohalos
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    It's importance is based on your own judgment. Do you think you NEED to be out to your friends? Do you think you NEED to let people know?

    I'd say it's easy if it's "Don't ask, don't tell". You don't gotta say anything to anyone unless they ask. You don't have to publicly come out. You just are. If someone asks, tell them. They don't, no word said.

    If you don't feel comfortable yet, then don't. It's your business anyway. Do you think you'd be uneasy, or feel like you're going to be uncomfortable after outing yourself?

    You don't need to rush things.
     
    #5 nohalos, Apr 25, 2015
  6. youngbuck

    youngbuck
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    I think I might use this technique. Seems like it's a lot easier then just coming out. Thanks lol
     
    #6 youngbuck, Apr 28, 2015
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