here it is. I am bi. I have known this for 20 years. I have mostly preferred women, but have been with several men. Recently I have been thinking more and more about men, about sleeping with men, being with them...no one in particular. I find myself looking at men in the grocery store and bars and wondering.... Now I am almost 39, in the middle of a divorce which is completely for the best and I can see my life opening back, sunshine flooding back in, the feeling of freedom to explore is exciting. But I am scared. I want to meet men, want to just be myself. I have no idea how to do this. I have not come out to anyone besides my soon-to-be ex-wife (who told her family). Craigslist and internet sex/dating sites are weird, and I don't trust those people. anyway, I thought maybe someone would read this and know what I mean and maybe offer some advice. My town is quite small, and pretty conservative, though from the casual encounters ads on CL there are quite a few more guys willing then let on publicly... Still I feel that living in the shadows is no way to live.
Hey there I hear you! I'm not very good at giving advice, but I hear you First off, I'd suggest you come out to some friends. (It would be a good idea to ask some vague questions about the LGBT+ community first, so you have some idea of how they would react). If you're planning on being in a relationship with a male, it would probably be much easier if your friends knew first, so it doesn't come as a shock. (This also means they can be your wingman/wingwoman ) Of course, you should only come out if you want to, not because some random stranger online told you to As for meeting men, it would be useful to search for LGBT+ spaces, such as bars or LGBT+ support groups, where you will inevitably find gay/bisexual men. You said you had been with men before, how did you meet them? It might be a good idea to try that. You are completely right, living in the shadows is not the way to go about things. So have fun, live life, and good luck! (!)
Just commenting to say I hear you loud and clear and hope things get better for you. (which is sort of hypocritical for me to say, but we're all in the same boat-I totally understand your caution for weird sites as well!!!!!)
I agree It's always better to let people know about your sexuality rather than throwing them straight into the cold water and presenting them your new partner (no pun intended :badgrin
just be careful. focus on getting comfortable with your orientation first and dating second. focus on meeting gay friends. you will not likely find any on gay dating sites. many (espec the one you mentioned) are sex sites. just join gay meet up groups or something positive and not a bar/club.
Thanks you all. I am a very cautious person by nature, only letting go once I am pretty sure of where I'll land. Most of the time anyway. It's a good suggestion to try and meet others of a like mind. I will try and find some sort of group. Not any "gay bars" in my town, but there is probably some place where guys are meeting to talk and not be "cruised". Thanks again, it's cool to have a place to hear about what other people are thinking about, and that there are other people facing some of the same challenges I am
