I am a woman with a wonderful husband, 2 daughters, and a step daughter. We've been together 5 years. I believe in monogamy and marriage. I don't plan on my relationship with my husband changing. When I was in high school, I was straight, but curious about other girls. It intensified as I got older, but I still liked guys. When I broke up with my first long-term boyfriend, I moved in with a coworker who needed to move out of her roommate's house at the same time. We were perfect together. There had been no sex, but I believe we could have made a life together. She was attractive and I loved her personality. I feel like I might still be in love with her. She knows how I felt and she was open to it. About 2 years after we moved in together, her husband (who she had been separated with for over 3 years) came back into the picture, trying to prove that he was sober and wanted her back. She had always said that might be a possibility. They did rekindle their relationship and over 5 years later and they are still very happy together. I am so happy for them, but at the time I was kind of broken. I met my husband a few months later. At that time, I wasn't looking for anything. It took months to really connect on anything more than a casual level. I have kind of hinted at being attracted to females, but I don't think he fully understands. I don't know if I should tell him that I truly am bisexual, since it won't have any impact on the future of our relationship. He is my husband and I want to be with only him. I don't want to bring a female into our relationship. I'm not good at sharing. I don't know how he'd take it. If he'd be uncomfortable or intrigued. I know he had no issues with anyone in the LGBT community as a whole so I think it would be okay. But I also don't want to mess up what we have. I guess I'm just confused. I have a few close friends that know but none of my family do. I'm fine with them not knowing. But I feel like I should be truthful to him. What should I do?
It sounds like you're content with your relationship with your husband but you're still looking for his acceptance of your bisexuality and that seems understandable. I think maybe you can ease into telling him by continuing to drop the hints about your attraction to women like you were doing before but now just a little stronger. It's also possible that he has some idea already that you're not fully straight and he's not as clueless as you think. People can surprise you.
I think you should eventually tell him. Just explain it him like you explained it here. Explain that nothing has changed or will change, you are the same person and you only wish to tell him about your feelings/sexuality, nothing more. Good luck
My story is pretty similar. I think being in a mixed orientation marriage can be challenging, but worth it if you have a relationship worth keeping. My husband knows about my attraction to women and history, but it can still feel (to me) like I'm hiding in plain sight. Sometimes it is hard to be an ally, when I'm really part of the glbt+ spectrum. I have a very few friends who know (mostly my oldest friends from high school), and it always feels like I'm not hiding around them even if I'm not different. I'm working on putting 'me' out there a bit more among people who don't know. Not coming out so much as just not hiding parts of myself.
It's up to you whether or not you want to tell him, but it sounds like you really want to and are just nervous. I think you should go for it if you feel comfortable. You said he is supportive of the LGBT community, so it should probably work out alright. It may even bring you closer, as someone else already said.
