Hey all! I've struggled a lot with labels in the past and trying to find one that I felt best suited me. I feel most comfortable using "queer" and am very happy with this label. I was wondering what other people's experience was like in using some kind of alternative label. I for one find it exhausting coming out (especially to older crowds) and having to constantly explain what my label means to me. I often feel like I just want to say "bisexual" just for convenience sake, but I also want to say genuine to myself. Thoughts?
I think that it is really up to you how you come out to people. Personally, I don't think that you telling people you're bi when you consider yourself queer because it's easier a betrayal to yourself. Labels are meant to help people understand things and put things into neat categories, because people like neat boxes. If telling people you're bi generally gives them the message you intend to send about your sexuality, then why not? If somebody tells me that a box is red, but it is really crimson, then they haven't lied. Sure, the latter is more accurate, but I got the idea with the former. Same thing with bi vs. queer. If you're wanting to bemore accurate and have to explain what queer is, then that is okay too. Sexuality is personal, and however you choose to communicate what those feelings are is up to you. However, just remember that labels are meant to make things easier, and certain labels are meant for us and other labels are meant for other people. It's why some biromantic homosexuals will just identify as gay, even though their personal label is different. Most people can understand gay, and it isn't a lie for that person. It's just a broader descriptive term than the narrower, more accurarate one they have for themself. It's really all about your comfort and the message you intend to send. If you say you're bi, they think, "oh, you date both boys and girls," and that might be close enough to your sexuality and you can accept that. Or maybe it's a bit more nuanced and you want to explain queer, and that's okay too. Just send the message you want to send.
I know people who have come out as 'queer.' Usually, as the above poster says, it isn't terribly helpful as it's a catch-all term. But I suppose if you don't know for sure where you are, it's no worse than "questioning" or "not straight", though those two probably require less explanation.
