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I'm doing it!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Kryz, Nov 24, 2008.

  1. Kryz

    Full Member

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    So you may or not may know my story (it in this same section somewhere in the first few pages if you wanna read).

    So this part of my life began with University, I met new friends and stuff, I thought I was gay since like junior high, then got confused with my best friend (female), and we became boyfriend and girlfriend.

    Now, at the beggining I was coming out in little pieces, so far she tought I was Bi, at that stage I stoped the coming out process. When we start the relationship I made clear some points.
    • We were best friends before it, and will continue being best friends after it
    • I am not romantic or anything
    • I am not that physical (at least w/ girls)
    • This wouldn't hurt our relationship with the rest of our friends circle

    Before any of this happened we had some chats about love and relationships, We agreed that the whole ~love~ stuff was ridiculous in most cases, and that at our age we were too stupid to recognize ~love~ yet. We also said that drama was the worst part of relationships.

    So, we started this on November 10th 2007. After like 4 monts I realized it wasn't the right thing. BUT decided to still give it a shot. After like 7 months she indirectly told me that she ~loved~ me. WOW she told me she had never loved anyone before and that this time it was a whole another level of feelings, that she ~knew its love~.

    That's when I decided it was definitely worng, and that at some point this was going to hurt her. BUT I'm a pussy with things like this, got too scared and decided that if I was a bad boyfriend she would at the end break up with me.

    You're right, I FAILED. It's been over a year now. And she's been puting things on her MSN status like "I HAVE to tell you, I WANNA tell you, and I NEED to tell you", after I wrote "I'm afraid, coz I KNOW what I MUST do :S".

    So I think the relationship is finally going to hell. It had to blow up at some point.

    My plan is the following.

    I'll send her an e-mail saying thst it's obvious that we need to talk, and I'll suggest wednesday (after crazyness is over with school), and I'll tell her to make a list of all the thing she liked and dislikes of this time.

    When the day comes we'll talk about the bad stuff first and then the good stuff (coz I wanna tell her everything I feel for her, and that I think we are soulmates). And then I'll drop the bomb, being like "I thought I had looked at you in that way and then realized I didn't and that I haven't lookes at any girl that way. And you are the first person I tell, and I feel like you have to know, and I trust you.I love her as a sister (or something like it). And I feel awful for hurting you this way, and hope you forgive me..." and all that stuff. Then I'll talk to her about being gay it's not a desicion and the whole stuff.

    So what do you think? any advice on it?

    Sorry about the long @ss thread.
     
  2. shulbert441

    shulbert441 Guest

    Be careful. I broke up with my girlfriend (and former bff) this summer because of my feelings for guys and she really didn't take it well. Be prepared for that. She's going to be really hurt, so just realize that anything she says or does is out of a broken heart and she probably won't mean any of it. It is possible that she won't even want to be friends anymore. My girlfriend was like that and she is still upset at me. But it is important that if you realize that the relationship is not going to work that you end it. The longer you wait, the more she'll end up getting hurt. Good luck.
     
  3. Kryz

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    This is going to be a lot easier.

    She cheated on me!
    She made out with a stranger in some concert.
    God.