I am 47 years old and have lived my whole life in the closet. I have only had a couple of sexual experiences when I was younger. I recently met a guy half my age and suspected him of being gay and decided to come out to him. He ended up being BI and gave me his full support. He has tried to convince me to come out to more people i.e.. Family and friends. The problem is that I am so afraid to come out. This has really got me on an emotional roller coaster. I am not even sure if I even want a relationship as I feel I am past my prime. I feel that I have wasted my life as well as been living a lie. I don't know how my lifelong friends will take it as well as my family? I have considered getting counseling because I am really having a hard time with this. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you. P.S. The younger friend that I came out to is only a friend, he is not my partner.
You're never too young or too old to come out and finally be yourself. If you know certain people will be accepting then slowly come out to them first. Whether you choose to come out to everyone or just a few people is your choice. Also, whether you feel like you would like a relationship or not is your decision and it's not a permanent one either. If you feel counseling is something that would help you I would recommend it. Good luck!
Look, age does not mean anything. Do not give up solely because you are not in your 20's. I say come out, what do you have to lose? If you don't want to be living a lie it is better to be truthful. Remember that YOU are in charge of our life and if they don't understand, then you will now have a reason to look for a support system. You have plenty of time, just be true :smilewave
Past your prime? It sounds like you haven't even begun your prime yet. Forget about what you think other people are going to think about you, because they probably aren't going to spend much time doing it anyway. The fact that you have lost a lot of opportunities to be yourself is no reason to continue doing this; quite the opposite. There are people of every age looking for friends and partners. Quit depriving them and you of the opportunity of knowing each other. You only get one chance at life; don't waste what you have left of it.
Thank you for your words of encouragement Bisexualqueen, Still Ill and Yossarian. It is good to know that there are people out there who care and want to help me. I am also encouraged to help others so they can have a better experience at coming out and accepting themselves as well!
Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets. One is never too old to come out and to start living ones life the way it is meant to be. Congratulations on your first and second coming out. You have already done the hard part. You have come out to yourself, and started to test the waters, starting being yourself. As it was said above, you are not past your prime, and never will be. I used to attend a local gay men coffee group, and one of the regular attendees was a 70+ year old man who came out to his wife, and family just a few months before he started attending the coffee group. He started living his life once he came out to his wife, and on the way he created new friendships and if I am not mistaken has also found a partner. Attending some counselling sessions and speaking with a counselor/therapist about your sexual identity and starting to live your life would be a good idea. A counselor can help you to navigate through your journey and would also give you an outlet to talk about your fears/worries. That could help you in looking at things from a different perspective and give you some pathways on coming out to your family and friends. A counselor could and would also be an integral part of your support network. Your friend to whom you came out to, is already part of that support network. Try to build on that. As you do that, you will start readying yourself for the next part of your coming out journey.
