They're all at least a little bit homophobic/unaccepting. For a bit of background I live with my grandparents and my dad. My half sister on my mom's side stays with us most nights. My mom who I'm not on speaking terms with right now lives just out of town. I feel like my dad would be the most accepting and I've already dropped him a few hints here and there and I'm hoping he's caught on so that telling him will be easier. The only thing that scares me about telling my dad is that he jokes about basically every minority group that there is, LGBT+ included. He also tends to stereotype, a lot. My grandparents I'm not so sure about. My grandma claims not to have any issues with homosexuality since she works with 2 gays which apparently means she can't be a homophobe. Meanwhile anytime something about LGBT people comes up on TV she complains about how it's all propaganda and it shouldn't be allowed on TV. She also thinks that bi-sexuals can't have meaningful relationships since they'll "inevitably get sick of whoever they're with and cheat on them." I have no clue about my grandpa's thoughts but I assume they're the same, or worse, than my grandma's. I also feel like if/when I tell them that they'll blame my friends for turning me gay since they know I have a lot of LGBT friends and don't understand that being gay isn't a choice. Honestly my grandma might be the biggest homophobe I know and that's probably the worst thing. My sister is accepting and has some gay friends and even told me that she kissed one of her female friends at one point. But when I told her I might be a little bit bi-sexual she either thought I was joking or just doesn't want to believe me. My mom would probably be happy to find out I'm bi since when I was a kid she thought I would end up being gay. But as it stands we aren't on speaking terms so telling her isn't an option. I was just wondering if any of you have any advice, I want to come out so I don't have to hide it at home anymore since I've come really close to just snapping and getting into a full on yelling match with my grandma over some of her comments, and I just can't deal with the bullshit anymore. :tears:
WRT your Dad, some people make minority jokes, not because they hate minorities, but because they make easy jokes due to having commonly heard stereotypes; people understand the jokes, even if they find the stereotyping disgusting. They don't filter their humor well because being a racial minority, or gay, or ethnic is no big deal to them, so they don't think it is a big deal to make a joke using the stereotype. Of course, the person hearing the joke who happens to be gay and in the closet attaches a totally different meaning to the joke, and feels like it is an intentional put-down addressed to them. IF your dad is unaware of your orientation, he may just be talking in his usual clumsy way, not realizing he is making you feel awkward with what he is saying. You should probably use the occasion when he makes some such joke around you to tell him "Dad, I know you love me, but when you make a joke about someone who is not straight, you are making a joke about me, and it makes me feel bad about myself. I wish you wouldn't do that, because it also encourages Grandma and Grandpa to say hateful things that make me feel even worse." Or something like that, to slip it out without having to say "I am gay" cold turkey. He can follow up and and you can have the full discussion about your orientation, or just back down and say something like "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was bothering you" and let it go like that to give him some time to think about what you said.
Thanks for the response. Like I mentioned in my first post I feel like my dad will be accepting, it's just that he isn't the easiest person to talk to, about anything, he tends to over-react even to really small things. I just don't want to come out to him and have him over-react about it especially since it's hard to get him alone.
