So many f-ing people to tell

One step at a time, sir.

There's no need to get worked up about your ex-girlfriend or those friends you only see once a year or great grandma Ethel yet. Start with the low-hanging fruit, like a close friend that you think will be accepting. Then work on your close circle of friends. (speaking of friends, you'll be surprised how much less homophobic they become once they know one of their friends is gay). Then work on close family.

As far as the people that you only see once a year, don't worry about it. By the time you get to them, you'll be proud of who you are and it'll be super easy to tell them, or just let them figure it out.

Like I said, one step at a time. I mean, you don't shove a king-sized candy bar down your throat all at once.

 

Welcome to EC. I would not sweat it on who to tell your gay. Take you time telling people and do it at your own pace when you are ready. I would just start with your friends who you feel will accept you then go from there. The rest will fall into place in time.

 

Welcome to EC :smilewave

Might I say it is fantabulous you have a boyfriend!

Mmmkay so 'coming out' is always hard and yes your reasons are normal. I only came out a month or so ago but thats a different story. Just make sure you take your own time, don't rush it because as you said it is a draining experience physically and emotionally.

The courage for you to tell your friends is there you just need to be able to turn off the pessimistic thoughts you are throwing around in your head (worked for me). Best to do your very close friends first one by one and if they reject you should not be friends with them (it's the harsh reality but very very true). If you are stuck for words and have a fear of losing someone put it into perspective for them and say "Hey, we became friends because we have things in common, not because I was straight".

For me it became easier to tell more people once I told my best friend. You just have to wait for a good time to tell people. Make sure it is a stress free time for everyone (i.e. not during exams, break ups etc.)

Yes, you should definitely tell your best friend who is out of the country because you should never leave besties in the dark about these things, they can help and comfort you. On the front of telling, in essence, the world P) I personally wouldn't say it unless they asked. For me I'm keeping it on a need to know basis, if you catch my drift. Really I would only tell your ex-girlfriend if you are still good friends, if not let her find out by word of mouth.

No you probably should talk to your boyfriend about it, he knows exactly what its like 'coming out' and should be there to give you emotional support.

It is alot easier once you have come out the first time (I may have said this before).
Good luck in your future endeavours, if you need someone to talk to I'm here.

 

Hey azathoth, congratulations about your boyfriend, that's awesome.
I agree with everything that's been said. Coming out is a scary process, one i'm still in the middle of. It's also a process that doesn't really end. Try not to get overwhelmed by the number of people that you want to tell. Start with your close friends, the people you see every day. If you have friends that can't accept who you really are, then they aren't worth keeping around. I know that can be hard to accept, but it's true. The people that are worth it will get over any shock they might feel and support you.

In time there will be opportunities to tell other people if you want to. But only if you want to. Take things slow, one step at a time.

Every situation is different, but I agree with tomahto, your boyfriend has gone through this and can be an incredible source of strength and support as you start to come out.

Best of luck and stay in touch.

 

Hey, welcome! As Xequar said, you should start with only the close people. The rest will come later.

The fact that we have to come out repeatedly, as you've noticed, sucks, but, that's life. Perhaps the best way to tell lots of friends is to tell them by saying something like "Guess what guys? I'm not single anymore! I've met this great guy called Maximillian*!"

It may seem very daunting atm to come out to any of them, but if you really want it, you just have to muster the courage and take the leap. They might well respond better than you expect, if they're real friends. And if they respond badly, well - were they that good friends in the first place?

Good luck!!

*inset real bf name here

 

Apart from telling immediate family and friends there is no real reason to tell anyone. If you tell people in an open way then word will get round quick enough especially if you make it clear you don't mind them telling others. You don't have to personally tell everyone you have ever met in your life.

 

Wait until YOU are ready to come out, not when other's are.

Tell a few key people, like your parents and few closests friends; tell your friends that you don't mind them telling other people. Give it a week and the whole world will know ^^

 

A really wise person told me once 'your sexuality is outside the scope of most of your relationships'. It doesn't change who you are at your core. It won't change how you do your job or interact with the majority of people. What your acceptance of your sexuality changes is how you feel about yourself.

Take it slow and you'll find that its way harder for you to say than for others to accept.
Tim

 

Seriously congratulations on the boyfriend, that's a great first step to take. As per your coming out, I suggest that if you really feel like telling people, I suggest telling your closest friends, the ones you are with most often, because they are the ones who will effect your life. As per your family, I really suggest having a close network of friends knowing before you tell your parents so that they'll be there whether it goes badly, or really well.