I am constantly wanting to tell my friend (and the first person) that I am attracted to men but I never feel like it is the right time to say it. I can't tell if it actually is not the right time to tell her or if I am just hoping for that "perfect" time that is never going to happen because when is it ever the perfect time. What is the right time to tell the first person? What mood should I be in and what mood should she be in? Anything?
Honestly, i don't think there is a "right time" to come out. The first time is almost always hard. Try planning it up. For myself, i invited a friend to go to the bookstore with me. I didn't manage to gather up the courage to do it, but when we left i told him "hey, let's head to the coffee shop before we split up", and he agreed. There, i ordered some food and finally managed to say "Hey, i need to tell you something i've been thinking about... i'm bi". My entire body was shaking, but then he conforted me and that's it! So, try to plan it up, it may help. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't manage to gather up the courage though, you may try again as many times as you need :]
I don't think that there is ever a perfect moment. You could always find something wrong with the moment and why you think you should wait. Umm, a good time would be when both of you are happy or in decent moods. The main bad times to come out that I can think of are during big events (ie. Her birthday) or during a fight or something. Up to you, and I'm certaintly no expert :lol:
This, there is never a perfect time to come out at all; you just have to have the courage to do it and you have to want to do it. Don't if you don't have that.
As stated above, there isn't a perfect time, but there are times that just aren't good ones. I encourage you to make sure that you are doing it when it isn't going to be a spectacle and there is enough privacy between you and the person. It just makes things easier in case things don't go well, and even if the reaction is positive, it can often be an emotional moment, so having it a bit more private is a good idea. But, other than that, you just need to muster the gumption to just spit it out, and be done with it. You feel much better afterwards. You might get a frog in your throat when you go to say it, but you have to commit and just go for it when you have decided that the time is right.
All I did to come out to my parents was say, "Hey mom, I'm pan & dating a girl now." I told my dad the same thing later that night. For my friends, I didn't say a word. They just saw me holding hands with/kissing a girl in the halls & one by one came up asking about it. For me, making it a really casual, "oh yeah btw I'm queer" sorta thing made it easier. Having a big buildup would've made me more nervous & unwilling to do it. There's, as everyone has said, no perfect time, but it's important to do it however it works for you. If you wanna invite them out & tell them over dinner, do that. If you wanna slip into conversation casually, do that. If you wanna slip them a note under the door, do that. It's all up to you, & the only mood you have to be in is ready.
