Ok, when I decided to come out a few months back, I knew (and told another guy in a similar situation) that there would be good days and bad days...enjoy the good and don't take the bad days too seriously because they won't last. Well, this week the bad days don't seem to want to end. If I can stay busy, its not too tough, but I have alot of time on my hands for the next 3 weeks and don't know how to handle it. I no longer have the companionship of my wife and family to occupy my time, my BF is 3000 miles away and when I try to talk to him about how I feel, he gets depressed and worried about me, then I have to use what little energy I have left to reassure him that I'll be fine (at least I expect to be...). I hate being alone. I haven't been alone, ever. I got married at age 19 and have been with her for 23 years. I thought we had weathered every storm imaginable and suceeded in keeping ourselves together. Then came the 'Oh...by the way...', when I couldn't stand supressing the fact I was gay anylonger. My social network crumbled, and although I've started rebuilding it with a new group of people (gay) it takes time to get to know people well enough to gain actual support from them. If my BF was closer, it would help alot, but there isn't anything we can do about that right now...he has commitments where he is, as do I where I am. I miss long in-person conversations and sleeping next to someone, and cuddling...(ok I'm a romantic) and I hate it that I now have to listen to my own advice and try not to take this too seriously, because I will survive and everything will work out OK. Sorry for the long rant, but I needed to get it off my chest. Tim:bang:
I'm sorry to hear things aren't go so well right now Tim. Everyone has a bad week once in a while. I give you a pat on the back for being able to manage with your bf being 3,000 miles away. Hope next weeks goes better for you.
Hey Tim sorry to hear that you are having a tough time of it lately. I find sometimes that when I have time off from work and not busy I can get lonely. Just hang in there. I am a strong believer that things happen for a reason and it will all work out in the end. You may want to try to find a LGBT group in your area to meet other gay people to hang out and socialize with others. Good Luck! (*hug*)
Hey Tim, Long distance relatonships seem to have a habit of turning pear shaped.... maybe you should see him like, every two weeks? Just try to book some time off work, maybe work extra hours during the rst of the week to make up for it. I'm sorry i'm not much help >_< Rhiannon xoxo
(*hug*) Being alone without anything to do sucks. Try to keep busy, that's what I have to do to keep from going insane. Take a class at a college, join Rotary, get a puppy, As for your boyfriend, it is amazing that you are able to keep that relationship whilst he is 3000 miles away. Can he be contacted at all? Letters or phone calls?
Hi Tim, sorry you are feeling lonely. It sounds like you need to put yourself out there to keep busy during this time that you and your boyfriend are separated by distance. Maybe volunteer somewhere? The good news is that air fare has gone down dramatically so maybe you can spend some more time together. Hang in there! When the time finally comes for you two to be together this time apart will make you appreciate it all the more! (*hug*)
Hey. That really sucks. Your advice is the right way to go; take the good and leave the bad. While that's really hard now, it will seem all the better when the good days show. I'm with amyleona; get a puppy. Get out there, have some well deserved fun. You're working really hard to keep up a relationship 3000 miles away and you're recognized yourself and came out at great risk. :eusa_clap Also, when do you see your boyfriend? We're all here for you. (&&&)
Thanks for the comments... I know this is a transient state and December 22 will come soon enough (thats when I fly in to see my guy :-} ). Did Thanksgiving today with my ex and a close family friend. It was a good meal, but awfully quiet conversation. Be well, Tim
Hi hun (*hug*) Sorry to hear about everything :icon_sad: I hate being alone too, but I have no choice - I haven't found my guy yet. The best thing for you to do is find a hobby or something to pass time with. If you don't, you'll be staring at the clock and counting the days --- five times a day to make sure you didn't miscount. I'd suggest finding some "me" time. Exercise, go for a walk, get some holiday shopping done --- anything that interests you. I am apparently an oddity... When I need to get away from my daily life, I go to work. Work is my therapy. If I need to get through some edgy times in life, I'll just work more hours. Plus, as an hourly employee, I'm paid for it --- it's a win-win situation haha Find something time consuming that you enjoy. Plus, you'll want (and need) to keep in communication with him. Can you call often? E-mail? Wish there was more I could do for you! (*hug*)
If you don't already have one - get a pair of webcams as Christmas presents - then at least you can video-call him online (assuming you both have reasonable broadband internet connections)
Hi Tim. I can understand how you're feeling. I miss my guy after a couple of days apart. Not sure what to say other than to get out there and meet new people where you live. Get out and see movies or go for a drink. I've had a crappy week too - mostly to do with my finances. I took a big hit Wednesday when the share value of the company I work for dropped 37%. Bummer.
Well, another update...she couldn't tell me in person, so she sent an email...apparently she's filed for a divorce. At least that is one less thing I'll have to do! I think I should be upset or something, but I'm actually relieved.
It's for the best (*hug*) How you hangin in there? Keeping busy? Think of the divorce as, you're off the hook! Now go after your man! :icon_wink
