I've been thinking about coming out to one of my brothers, but I'm not sure if I'm ready yet, or if it's quite the right time. The reason it's on my mind is that he will be visiting next week for a day. The issue gets a little more complicated, however, because my parents and uncle will also be visiting, though they will arrive a bit later than my brother will. I'm pretty sure my brother will be fine with my sexuality. Years and years ago I even recall him asking me if I was bi (though it was so long ago he likely doesn't remember this). So I'm not too worried about him accepting me. I'm more concerned about whether this timing will be awkward because other relatives will show up shortly after, who I am not ready to come out to yet. I also worry that if I tell one family member that sort of "gets the ball rolling" and I'll have to tell more soon, which I don't feel comfortable doing yet. As I'm typing all this I'm realizing maybe this is not the right time yet. But then, perhaps it is an opportunity to be seized as I only see my brother in person one or two times a year. Any thoughts? :eusa_doh:
I would only do it if I felt ready? I told my brother in anger to make him feel bad for being such a homophobic ass hole to me. But I wasn't ready for him to know and I was quite uncomfortable about it.( Especially as my parents still didn't know and he used it to blackmail me in to getting him out of trouble:/)
Tell him, and ask him to keep it to himself for now, as you want to "do it your way" rather than coming out to everyone at the same time. It my go well enough that you decide to tell the others, using your brother to support you while you are all together, to get it over with. It's not really that big a deal at your age, but it seems like it is until you get it done and nothing happens as a result.
I guess part of the problem is I'm not sure if I'm ready? Sometimes I want to come out and just be out to everyone and have it over with. Other times I'm happy enough to stay in the closet a bit longer. I think why I am thinking of doing it now is because I have few opportunities to see him in person, he lives quite far. But if I don't tell him when he visits I can always call him another time and tell him on the phone, and that would be ok, too. I still feel uncomfortable talking about my sexuality, to be honest. The situation with your brother sounds pretty crappy, I'm sorry. Has he come around at all? I don't think my brother will be a jerk about it, I think he will probably just not care all that much about it. But it might be weird to tell him right before we see our parents, then swear him to secrecy, because I don't think it will go over well with parents and I'm not ready to deal with that yet. ---------- Post added 13th May 2015 at 03:28 PM ---------- That's not a bad thought.. if my uncle were not also coming I'd consider it, but with him there there's no way, just because of how my uncle is. He is nice person, but he's mildly mentally challenged and does not understand the concept of discretion or keeping things quiet at all. I suppose if something happens where my uncle ends up not coming (which given his track record there is a 50/50 chance of) it could be a possibility, though. Thanks for your advice. Even if I don't get the opportunity to tell my parents with my brother there, I will try to keep in mind that I can just ask my brother to be discreet and he likely will oblige.
I recently came out to my brother, and he told me that he didn't care if I was gay straight bi trans or whatever, but he told me I was equal as everyone else. Then he said that "if people don't like you because you're gay than those people are f***ing idiots. I don't think differently of you; you'll always be my little bro. If you have anything to talk to me just know I'm here. I wont tell anyone as it is your decision to come out. I love you and "f*** homophobes". I thought about coming out to him for the longest time and he took it extremely well. After that I came out to my best friend and he told me, "I wasn't surprised, but not in a bad way. I don't really care man it's whatever to me. Honestly being gay is like liking a different sandwich from what other people like... I mean... I don't get it when people hate on others for their preferences, it's like them hating on you for ordering a different sandwich.." I kinda stared at him like dafaq, but yeah He told me "Ya know what I mean?" I then told him "Sure..." We laughed, but yeah point is people take it better than others. I'm really glad I came to terms with my sexual orientation and hope your experience is as good as mine or even better
Thanks Erick, I'm glad that it went so well for you . People can say some funny things when you come out to them. I guess they feel on the spot, too. One of my friends told me "it's ok if you like the dames" when I told her :lol: .
Erick, it seems as your brother is cool. I like how he described it. Really it is a preference. It's what makes our belly flutter. The feeling of romance. And it's our sexual preference as well. (I haven't had experience myself but I would love to.) Take care.
