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Healthy way to come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kcdeclassified, May 14, 2015.

  1. kcdeclassified

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    I am constantly thinking about how I am going to come out, and who to. I really want to come out, but there are a handful of specific people that I do not want to know I am gay yet (past boyfriends (oops), female friends that will feel weird still being friends with me, some relatives). I know there is no real way to make sure specific people do not find out, so it is all or nothing.

    I really don't want to make my coming out a big deal, because the last thing I want is added attention.
    Is this an unhealthy way to come out?
    My plan is to just joke about me being a lesbian at every chance I get. For example, if someone asks me how my love life is going, I will say something along the lines of "You know, boys suck. I think I am going to try girls." I will just say things like that totally causally, and somewhat often. I know all my friends will think I am joking at first (since they have met my past boyfriends). But, I hope that after awhile, they will think, wait, I think she is being serious! That way they kind of figure it out themselves, and me joking about it for awhile eases them into the idea of me being gay.

    Or, I will host a random party, with a cake that says: Surprise! I'm Gay!
    Either option.
     
  2. MetalRice

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    I don't know if that would work or not; but you could give it a shot.
     
  3. fxngirl

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    I totally get how you feel! I want to come out too, but I'm waiting at least until next month so I'll graduate and I won't have to deal about it with my classmates. But since I'm very feminine I'm afraid people won't believe me and they'll just say that it's a phase and that I "haven't found the right guy yet". The only moments I can be honest about my sexuality is when my friends make jokes about me being a lesbian and I say that it's true, and they think I'm joking while I'm not.

    All I can suggest is you tell first a couple of your closest friends, people you can trust, and then slowly you can tell everyone. I feel that if you tell everyone at the same time it will be more of a big deal. :slight_smile:
     
  4. Foz

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    A healthy way to come out is 5 a day :grin:
     
  5. kcdeclassified

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    I have considered coming out to one person a week! If I came out 5 a day, I would probably be done in two days!:lol:

    ---------- Post added 14th May 2015 at 06:40 PM ----------

    I'm glad someone else understands!!!! And that's a very good idea to wait until after graduation, you honestly won't see most of them after graduation anyways, so don't waste your time telling all of them!
     
  6. Bi in MD

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    I came out to my two lesbian friends first.
    now they like me even more.
     
  7. Awesome

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    I like cake.

    Personally, I would like and accept a person a lot more if they gave me cake.

    In all seriousness, I don't think there is a right way and wrong way to come out. I don't know if I'm out at my school or not. I have hinted it to a couple of people, attended GSA once, and told one person who might not have told anyone else. My number one rule of coming out is do not lie to keep yourself in the closet. Just keep making steps forward. They can be big steps or little steps; I don't think one way is better.
     
  8. LD579

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    You could probably just tell them randomly that you don't want it to be a big deal but that you're a lesbian. Questions'll probably come at the start and over time, but if you do it in a lowkey way, they'll probably not be as likely to hype it up. You could also just pitch in if your friends ever remark on a girl being pretty or not. That's one way I've done it (Most of my friends are girls), and it doesn't become a big deal really.

    Or you could make a vegan cake. That's healthy, right? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  9. kcdeclassified

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    Haha yes! Vegan cake is pretty healthy!!! Thank you so much! I think I will do that.:icon_bigg

    ---------- Post added 14th May 2015 at 11:14 PM ----------

    I can't see how they could judge me as they are enjoying the wonderful cake I made them!!!
    Thank you so much for the advice!
     
  10. GwenTheWelshGal

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    I haven't yet come out yet, but I'm planning on putting it in the form of a letter, which I've been typing up since April 27th.