So I'm meeting up with someone tomorrow who I haven't seen in about 2-3 years, she's coming home from France (where she lives with her BF) for a month. We were very close friends most of the way through my teenage years, from the time I was about 14, but drifted a bit when we were in college (studied totally different things, and she was doing a shorter program) and as a result of that I haven't really sat down and had a good talk with her in about 2-3 years. Needless to say, I'm not out to her. I *almost* came out to her when I was 21, but chickened out at the last minute, and any time I've seen her since then she's always had a group of people with her - and usually there's at least one of those people I don't want knowing that I'm a massive dyke. Anyway - I want to come out to her tomorrow. I'm just kinda hoping that it's only her that's around, and that she takes it well, because I really would like to try and rebuild our friendship, and I think I should start by finally being completely honest with her. *crosses fingers*
If it turns out to be more people than just your friend that comes,you can pull her aside and talk to her privately.Or you can tell her that you really need to talk to her privately about something that is very important to you and could the two of you have dinner just the two of you.
A good rule of thumb when dealing with somebody like this is this - act like they already know. Because unless you dated a lot of beard/guys in the past, people start wondering why you're never interested in guys. And they tend to guess or assume the obvious - because you're not interested in guys. So don't "come out" to her. Not in the big "I have a huge announcement to make" sort of way. Just bring it up in conversation. Something like "I finally got a date with this woman I've been interested in - I think it went pretty well" or "Still no luck on the dating front. Dublin isn't the best place to find interested women, you know?" Lex
Awkward silences are a pain in the arse. Sounds like you were really depending on renewing this connection, but the revival hasn't started out quite the way you wanted. My experience with this is limited, but I do have something anecdotal that may help. I had a good friend during my teens that, looking back I really valued because they were easy going and they made it easy to hang out and relax - something rare in those days because of the homophobia that often surrounded me. I figured that the best thing I could tell this person years and years later is that I was thankful to have them as a friend because of the above reasons. I was grateful, and it was enough for me for them to know it. I suppose this is different because I wasn't really expecting or wanting to start hanging out with them again, so my expectations weren't anywhere near what yours seemed to be. Maybe this helps =D
Holy passive-aggressive batman. She's talking to me again and decided to arrange a meal for tonight with a large group of friends from various places. When I was coming to the restaurant she'd already arranged the seating so that everyone was sitting near somebody they didn't know - to be "an icebreaker" allegedly. Anyway - she put me sitting beside her uber-Catholic friend who proceeded to spend the entire meal telling me how she couldn't wait to get married and start pumping out good little Catholic babies. /facepalm
As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. So sit the dance out. If the Catholic person starts talking about wanting to be a baby facotry again, just be encouraging. "I bet you'd make a great mother. I hope you do find somebody soon." Lex
