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In the closet and in love with my "straight" best friend

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kevintyler24711, May 15, 2015.

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  1. kevintyler24711

    kevintyler24711
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    north Babylon
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Alright so I'm bisexual and I'm still in the closet I feel comfortable with myself and I'm ready to come out. I had a crush on my straight best friend for a few years and I never thought anything of it (I always thought that it was a bromance and it was normal to feel that way lol). He would hug me and wrestle around with me, the worst was when hewould say i love you to me in a non serious way and i never knew what to do xD.About a year ago my feelings about him grew and changed and it was actually when it finally clicked in my head that I'm attracted to guys. After this happened I didn't know how to act around him everytime I was around him I felt like my heart sunk I couldn't keep focused on anything around me except him. It really killed me inside because I wasn't comfortable being Attracted to guys. I always thought that maybe he was going through the same thing as me and we both wasted years we could've been together. One thing I'll never forget is when he said to me out of nowhere would you be my friend if I was gay, that sentence has been burned into my head with regret that I didn't say something right then and there.We were so young and he always had some story about the girla he hooked up with so I never knew what to think about him saying that. But what ended up happening is once i realised i loved him. I pushed him away and we started drifting and before I knew it a few months went by without hearing from him. in this time I really isolated myself and it was hard but now I'm coming out of my depression and I'm happy with my sexuality. But a few weeks ago he showed up at my house and the moment I saw him everything came rushing back my heart sunk butterflies in my stomach and I just can't stop thinking about him and what I should do. We've hung out a few times and we're becoming friends again. I don't want to ruin a friendship but I don't want to let him be the one that got away. I need help, advice or anything. Should I tell him everything and just put it all out there? Should I just ignore everything? Help me.
     
    #1 kevintyler24711, May 15, 2015
  2. biisme

    biisme
    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Hi there!

    Since he brought up the subject of being gay to you when you were younger, it sounds like he's more of an open-minded person. If you're unsure how he'll react to your news, you can try figuring out where he stands on LGBT issues by perhaps bringing up something in the news and seeing his response. . If you decide you're comfortable with letting him know, you could tell him that in the months since you've seen him you've come to terms with your sexuality and that you're bisexual. You don't need to bring up liking him right away. If he is [not straight] then this might be an opening for him to let you know as well.
     
    #2 biisme, May 15, 2015
  3. Yossarian

    Yossarian
    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Why don't you just come out to him as bisexual. That will open the door for him to tell you what he considers his own sexuality to be. If he says he is bi too, then you have the green light to tell him more if you feel your interest in him has been rekindled and you feel a vibe from him. If he describes himself as straight, then he can still be your best straight friend.

    There must be some reason he came knocking on your door, so don't drop the ball this time, now that you have accepted yourself.
     
    #3 Yossarian, May 15, 2015
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