For those who identify as something other than lesbian, gay, and bisexual, how have your experiences been with coming out to people? Do they understand your orientation or need an explanation? I've come out as a lesbian to a few people over the years but now when I do, I want to be more specific. I'm just a little apprehensive about people's reactions. Everyone understands gay or lesbian, I'm betting no one "gets" being flexible. I know I've stated in other posts that I'll just continue using lesbian because it's easier but having thought about it, I don't want to.
You can use "homoflexible", but you're probably going to get the, "Well, isn't that just bisexuality?". This is one of those situations where, it needs to be a case by case basis. For some folks, letting them know you're a lesbian is fine. To say anything else, even once, now gives them that 'Ah ha!' leverage. Anyone who doesn't want to believe you're gay, or didn't, will now see this as them being right, making any future coming-outs possibly more difficult. For others, you can explain it, even if it may take a few reminders. Just keep that in mind. Unless you see yourself as wanting to date or be romantic with men, it would be easiest to just stick with "lesbian". Otherwise, you're potentially opening yourself up for the, "I thought you said you were a lesbian, who could have exceptions!" which, sadly, most ignorant men would jump on -- it practically reinforces the 'no woman can be gay' myth. Of the people you have come out to, would any of them give you a hard time?
Some scholarly publications document and utilize (I can provide the titles to the scholarly journal articles -- if you would like some proof to support the usage ) more non-mainstream terminology, such as the following: More broad terms: "Sexual minority" "Sexual orientation minority" More specific terms: "Man who has sex with Men" (MSM) "Woman who has sex with women" (WSW) OR, you can synthesize (these are also scantly noted in the literature) "Woman who has sex with women and men" (WSWM) "Man who has sex with men and women" (MSMW) I hope this helps! Have fun with the alphabet soup!
So maybe I should stick with lesbian in any future coming outs and use homoflexible within the LGBT community? From what I've come to learn about the term, is that it is someone whose attractions are prmarily same sex but on occasion, can be attracted to the opposite sex. Though not enough to actually be in a romantic/sexual relationship with them. I definitely wouldn't tell my mom this. She would cling to it like a life raft. I did re-come out to someone and she was fine, and never once questioned my attraction to women
What about "mostly lesbian"? Or, "lesbian but curious"? I mean, that's probably not exactly how you feel, otherwise you would have said that already. But it could be easier for some to understand?
That's a good idea See, once I admitted to those few attractions I thought that I could no longer use "lesbian" but like I've said, bisexual definitely doesn't feel right and homoflexible sounds like a sex position. I think i will use lesbian when coming out to the majority and only mention the gray area to those I'm really close with. I'm sorry that I keep asking about this. Thanks for the advice everyone
