Hello, everyone. I've been back and forth on coming out for nearly a year. I know my family won't be fully accepting, and since I live in a small town the news would spread pretty quick. I'm really not sure If I'll be able to handle having a lot of people know I'm bi. At least at this point. But I also don't want to hide my sexuality. It's part of who I am, and although it's not the most important or defining characteristic of myself; it's pretty important. Once I accepted that I was bisexual, a lot of things made sense, and I thought it would be great to be able to share my revelation. It was comforting after accepting myself. But I keep going back and forth. One day I'll be worrying I'll never come out, and If I do I'll be ridiculed by friends and family alike. Then the next day I don't care, I want to be more open, and I know some of my friends will stick by me. I guess I just want to know if it sounds like I'm worrying too much, because despite this happening for nearly a year; I can't decide what to do. Have any of you people felt really divided on whether to come out or not? If you were really nervous, what made you decide to come out? I'd appreciate any response. :help:
No, your not worrying too much its pretty normal for an LGBT person to worry about coming out to family and/or friends. I worry about coming out to friends and family with my sexuality because i think they would treat me different and my gender identity because i think they wouldnt understand me Oh and sorry, welcom to EC young owl, lol sorry thought that would sound cool
I love your username, BisexuOwl! You're young and you have plenty of time to come out. It's normal to take some time before taking that first step, and it's definitely normal to be nervous (how could you not be?). Here's some advice, I hope it helps: I know you said you live in a small town, but the truth is, you never come out to everyone at once. Assuming you're not going to post it on Facebook, announce it during assembly at school, walk around wearing an I'm Bi t-shirt, and hang a banner on your house, it's going to be a multi-step process, telling a couple people, sometimes one person at a time. So my advice to you is to start with just one. You said you know you have friends who will be supportive. Pick someone you trust will react well and will keep quiet if you tell them you'd rather it not be public knowledge. It can really, really help to have a friend who knows and is okay with it, and that first person you tell is you opening the closet door, just a crack. Once you've taken that first step, the second one becomes easier. Tell another friend, working the same way as with the first one. Pick people you know you feel comfortable with. Even if you start with people you trust, be prepared for it to leak just in case. It shouldn't happen, but it's a possibility, and you have to know you'll be okay if it does happen. Before you tell more people -- other friends, family, etc -- consider how people will react. For example, if there's any chance your parents will disown you or be emotionally or physically abusive, be very careful who you tell because you don't want it getting back to them. However, if you're "just" worried what people will think and say: there are assholes everywhere, but the supportive people will make it all worth it. And finally, no, you're not making a mountain out of a molehill. Coming out is scary, it makes us all nervous, but it's worth it when you're ready.
It takes time. It took me over six years from the moment I was absolutely certain I was gay to telling my first person. I had moments where I thought I was on the cusp of telling my friends or family. I would be repeating in my head "I am gay. I am gay. I am gay. Just go tell them." And yet I couldn't get my body to make the words come out of my mouth around them. I do encourage you to find a friend you can trust to tell. One thing that I know was deeply unhealthy for me was not being able to talk about it with anyone.
