Mom and I argued

It is actually encouraging that she is engaging you enough, on the topic, to argue. Let me prepare you for any relationship you are ever in: argument is good. Listen to the song by Simon and Garfunkel, "The Sound of Silence." Silence is deadly to a relationship, including one with your parents.

If you focus on the fact that she cares enough about you...and respects you enough...to engage you, on this topic, then you will have a lot better luck. Be glad for the chance to spar. Use it to help you work through your own doubts and fears. Remember, if you can stand up to her questions successfully, then let me tell you, nobody will ever scrutinize you as much as your mom. If you can stand up to her, then you stand up to anybody. That's why our parents are so difficult. It's nature's way of making sure we are armed to face a potentially hostile world, and if you are LGBT, it is potentially a very hostile world. Give her a chance to arm you. Give her a chance to prepare you to face the scrutiny of others, which is, unlike with her, not tempered by love.

Let me propose a rule for you. Anytime she argues with you, over anything, make a point of trying to end it with a hug. Remember, argument is productive. Argument helps you sort things out. It is not a negative thing at all.

 

Just explain it to her. And maybe refer her to the PFLAG website. Really, just wait until you get a girlfriend. If you need someone to talk to, you can find someone else. Or talk to someone on here. It shouldn't matter much if she believes you or not, at this stage. Do you need her approval? If she is too ignorant to believe in bisexuality, and still doesn't after you explaining it, then just leave her. Your explaining will do little good, and it will be a waste of energy.

About you two not getting on well generally, we'll need more information, if you want us to help you. It is probably not only related to this.

 

Boy, that really sucks, and I've been there. When I came out to my parents, they reacted the same way. Actually it sounded like you were describing me for a second. The thing is, you can't directly change their mind. (What I mean is, you can't reach into their brain, turn a switch, and suddenly they agree with you.) But you can still explain your side, and hopefully they'll see things differently. Be very unwavering in your feelings - this lets her know that how you feel isn't going to change. Show her you're confident in yourself and your feelings, even if it doesn't seem like it. And most importantly, tell her that she hurt your feelings. Hopefully, she'll back off and apologize. There's nothing worse for a parent than their child hurting. Remember, she's probably really worried and confused. This is a big shock for her. Be sure to answer any questions she may have, and remind her you're the same person as you were before. I'd recommend printing this out for her; it's a PFLAG brochure specifically for parents whose children have come out to them. Finally, give her a little time. As I said before, it's a big thing for her to adjust to.

Good luck!

 

Hi there! I wondered if you've checked out Qmunity? They're downtown but have a website you could look at. (Not that you shouldn't be here but it's something in real life if you're interested.) They might have something for people your age. Don't know how old you are but I've seen a number of young people around there.

Sorry I don't have advice about your mother. Maybe if you gave an example of what she's saying or doing someone will have a suggestion for you.