Please help all i do all day is just thinking about dying, i did alot of experiencing as a kid with other boys and never girls. Ive had 2 gf's since then and both went bad. I rwally need some help her as im losing all family and friends over this... All i keep thinking is that im gay and there is something so wrong with that, instead of just saying it i also did something so wrong, instead of just telling my mom i said if i was gay then i wanted to die and months later i took a decent amount of pills and wrote a note. Any advice please!!! :icon_sad:
Being gay only feels wrong because you were raised to believe it's wrong. But it isn't. When I finally accepted myself, I became so happy. You need to make some friends here and talk to us so we can help you accept yourself. You're wonderful the way you are! <3 Have you ever been attracted to girls? Tell me more about why you think you're gay.
Hi helsonic, I am so sorry that you were in so much pain that you tried to kill yourself. And that you're still thinking about it. What exactly is going on with your family and friends? And, why do you think that being gay is wrong? If we're extremely lucky, we only get 100 years on this earth. One hundred years to create, live, and love. It's too short to waste hating who you are. There are billions of people on the earth right now, the vast majority of which we will never meet. If you do find someone that you love, it shouldn't matter what sex they are. People shouldn't spend their precious time trying to limit someone else's happiness. They are wasting their lives instead of living them. If you're gay, then it only matters to you and whoever is in a relationship with you. You are a beautiful person that is fully worthy of love. I don't think there is anything wrong with you at all. I think there's something wrong with how no one taught you that being gay isn't a crime, isn't a sin, and isn't abnormal. There are many people on this site that would love to talk to you, myself included. I hope you can find some peace here. (*hug*)
Thank you two so much, you have no idea how much those words just helped me, and it seems I'm just aroused by woman but it could be just because oaf watching porn, and I can't even remember being attracted to a woman, in fact I feel awkward around, I think its just me not being able to accept it since my good friends say no matter what they will be my friend. I guess it may be just disappointing my parents and friends.... Because of all this I can't hold a job and just feel me falling apart so I think something is wrong by my trying to hide being straight anymore, and the worst part is everyone that knows before I even knew... That's the worst thing.
Arfff first That's your first post... welcome to EC, i think you'll find this community helpful and very resourceful all members are supportive and accepting towards each other if you need someone to talk to just wall me anytime =) --- second Please dont do that to yourself again i know your pain, i've been there i did the exact same thing that you did with those pills and the pain afterwards when that failed is so excruciating Why do you think that being gay is wrong? we don't hurt anybody the difference between us and them is just we prefer to have a relationship the person with the same sex as ourselves... there's is nothing wrong with that love is not a sin and in your place, loving the same sex/gender its not a crime, previous post are right you are special, you deserves to love someone and be loved back regardless what gender/sex the person you attracted to is. again if you need to talk my wall is always open have a good day arfff
the other posters are 110% correct the main source of angst and depression is from self-hate … because society programmed you to believe you are 'wrong' well you are not 'wrong'… you are one of the beautiful human race and deserve to be - and can be - as happy as anyone else
Thank all of you so much, just hearing this from someone is like a weight just taken off of me, so more is there, I'm really not sure why I think it is so bad, maybe rejection? Or the constant gay jokes metowards
I am 31, soon to be 32, and I have been thinking about dying for so long that I'm no longer really bothered by it. Death and I are good friends. That is one thing that will always be there for me, if I ever run out of options. It is ultimate security. It is the ultimate cartoon escape hatch. With Death as my friend, I can face life. Learn to have a trusting relationship with Death. Death isn't going to run off on you. Death and taxes are the only two things that you can really count on. If you look ten years from now, you'll still see Death's smiling face. Wait twenty years, and Death will still be there. Death is the one true gentleman. I assure you, the option to die isn't going to disappear. Once you have developed that sense of trust toward Death, that really liberates you try other things first, and please do. Living is very interesting. You can find something meaningful to do with life, something to be proud of. When Death finally comes for you, someday, do you really want to look him in the eye and tell him you never really did anything cool? Wouldn't you feel a little embarrassed? Calm yourself, be patient, take your time, and really start figuring out what it really means to live. There is no rush. Hold my hand, through this screen, just in your mind. In your mind, squeeze my hand. I and others are here for you. Death is here for you. We all care about you, including Death. You have a long time yet before it's really your time to go, so please, don't be afraid to live. I promise, it's not as scary as it looks, and you have my word of honor on that.
Helsonic, I'm so sorry you're going through these feelings of helplessness. Just know that it gets better. It's such a cliche, but it's true. I was severely depressed when I came to the realization that I was gay. Society programs us into thinking it's so wrong - and I'm not religious so this wasn't confounded with thoughts of going to hell. For me, it was the thought of disappointing others and their expectations. What you begin to learn as you age and mature is the only one who's happiness matters for you is your own. Again, cliche, but it's the absolute truth. Just because you have a preference toward the same sex, that's perfectly okay, and yes, perfectly natural. Please send me a wall message if you need to talk.
helsonic, try looking at yourself in the mirror and saying "I am gay, and it is OK" over and over again until you realize that it IS OK to be gay. There are tens of millions of gay men in this country alone. If you don't believe it, take a short vacation trip to Key West, and look at all the rainbow signs all over the place. Happy people, living their lives as gay men who enjoy their lives. There are always going to be dipwads making gay jokes, and black jokes, and "Polock" jokes, because they love using stereotypes as the basis for sleazy humor. Their opinions about you do not matter; it is your opinion about yourself that matters, and you are 100% in control of it; you just haven't realized that yet. So do that mirror exercise as often as you can, ignore what other people "think" about you (because they probably are only thinking about what you think about them anyway), and try to find some other gay guys to hang out with and support you, just as you are. And if you do get momentarily depressed, come back here and talk about why you are feeling that way, and we will try to talk you through it to feeling as good as you ought to about yourself.
helsonic, please talk to us whenever you feel down. We can help you accept yourself, or at least lead you there. You seem like such a nice guy, and you deserve happiness.
