First post, etc. I've recently accepted to myself that I'm bisexual. I experimented a little when I was growing up, closeted the hell out of it, focused on getting girls (unsuccessfully for a few years), got married, had kids. Over the past year and change I've decided to hit the gym to better my health and appearance. Could be that being around a bunch of muscular men woke up that old interest, but it's now just...present. I have experimented with toys and fantasized about men in and yup, I'm bi. I get it, and that's cool. Now, I'm not interested in actually being with men in real life. Sure, it's part of me, but I'm in a monogamous relationship with a wonderful, beautiful, amazing woman. She's legit my best friend, my partner, my soulmate. I like her AND I love her, if that makes any sense. I'm really wrestling with coming out to her. We've recovered nicely from a rocky patch in the relationship four years back. She didn't like me, I didn't like her...bottom line I had enough and had an affair, which was about the stupidest thing I could do, but I did it. With a woman. I'm worried that she'll see my sexuality as a betrayal of trust, in that I'm hiding it, as opposed to keeping it to myself now while I figure out what the hell to do because I'm scared as fuck of losing her. Yes it would shake life up. Two young kids aside, it's her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. And I'm not sure if I AM being dishonest with her. I'm not ever going to have any type of physical hot contact with another guy. Will. NOT. But I still feel like if I'm not open, then I'm not honest. If anyone has any similar stories, can speak to this from a place of experience, chime in. I'd live to hear how anyone has dealt with something like this.
It's only been recently that I've accepted myself as pansexual (mostly gay but labels are for cans and I still have a small interest in girls... I guess... whatever). I came out to my ex as bisexual and a few days later she stopped talking to me. (LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG story) Anyway, I had been battling telling her for a while. We joked about me "being gay" and a "faggot" blah blah blah. I finally told her and she seemed chill with it. She told me she had thoughts about girls occasionally and that she'd always wanted to experiment with it. If you tell your wife, I would make sure you guys are at a good point in your relationship and make sure you tell her that it's just who you are and that your sexuality, or whatever you wanna call it, doesn't change the fact that you're in love with her. Be mentally prepared for her to distance herself or question you for a minute having had some trust issues in the past. maybe she'll even be cool with it and you guys can talk about crushes and stuff. That's all I got. Hopefully you'll find some insight Best of luck!
